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Hello folks, Here is a country rock type song I just finished, I just wonder www.youtube.com/watch?v=duySFor8dyY]I just wonder remix (link no longer valid)Took Floyds advice and told the band to play louder, Thanks Floyd I just wonderI’m looking for the sun but the sun’s gone down, I’m looking for my lover but she’s not around, What can I do I don’t know I just wonder, I’m looking for someone to hold my hand, But they don’t seem to understand, What can I do I don’t know I just wonder. Chorus 1 I wonder if there’s life on mars, I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer, To the things I need to know, To show me the way to go Oh I don’t know Oh I don’t know, I just wonder. I wonder if my world would come tumbling down, If you didn’t come around what can I do, I don’t know I just wonder, I tried to call you at the midnight hour, But you were busy in your ivory tower, What can I do I don’t know, I just wonder. Chorus 2 They say there’s a God up above, And he’s looking down on me with love, But there’s a devil and she’s down here below, She’s showing me a new and a different way to go, How can I choose well I don’t know, I just wonder. Guitar solo I’m waiting by the phone that never rings, Am I just another one of your flings, What can I do I don’t know I just wonder, Starring into these empty walls, Trying to make some sense of it all, What can I do I don’t know, I just wonder. I wonder if there’s life on mars, I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer, To the things I need to know, To show me the way to go Oh I don’t know Oh I don’t know, I just wonder. Oh I don’t know, What can I do, I just wonder. Style is =DARRL_E.STY (D.Ctry Rock, el.guit (120 RT)) Style MIDI Instruments are : Acoustic String Bass (33), Acoustic Piano (1), Acoustic Guitar (26), RealTracks in style: 384:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Rock Southern Ev 120 RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^7-a,b:Snare, HiHat realtrack 1515 brent . Wish I had a better voice for this ... All comments very welcome if you have time to take a listen. Thanks Musiclover
Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 09/26/17 12:56 PM.
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I enjoyed my listen of your song. Good choice of Realtracks and the vocals fit very well in the mix. Good job all around.
Charlie
BIAB 2025:RB 2025, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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They say there’s a God up above,
And he’s looking down on me with love,
But there’s a devil and she’s down here below,
She’s showing me a new and a different way to go
That verse could get you in a lot of trouble with the feminists. For my part, I very much enjoyed the song!! I feel it is very natural sounding with some nice heartfelt stuff in it. I like the feel of the vocal and the mix in general, although a little reverb on the vocal might be nice. This has a cool feel. Keep posting!! Take care. Greg
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I enjoyed that a lot, it was almost hypnotic, in a nice way.
great rts and what sounded like the occasional doubling of the vocal was great.
Good to hear your accent shine through
A good listen
Alyn
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Hello musiclover.
Found this an interesting write.
Great lyrics.
I feel you may need to try this in another key.
Over all very well done.
Rob
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Hi Musiclover. I enjoyed the listen and the video. Well done.
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Musiclover, This is great! My favourite lines are...
I wonder if there’s life on mars,
I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer
That's a very sophisticated rhyme pattern you've used there. When 'stars' completes the rhyme with 'mars', you sail on past the natural close that rhyme brings and you complete the line with an additional phrase. Awesome! I've tried to accomplish this a couple of times in my lyrics but I haven't yet been as successful as I'd like. This type of rhyming puts you in the company of people like Paul Simon and Neil Diamond (see the choruses from "Homeward Bound" and "Solitary Man" below).
Homeward bound
I wish I was homeward bound
Home, where my thoughts escapin'
Home, where my music's playin'
Home, where my love lies waitin' silently for me
Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man
It's good to see you back in the forum. All the best, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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I enjoyed my listen of your song. Good choice of Realtracks and the vocals fit very well in the mix. Good job all around.
Charlie Thanks Charlie for having a listen and your kind comments, wanted a gritty rock vocal for this one and to be honest I feel mine doesn't do the job. Thanks again. They say there’s a God up above,
And he’s looking down on me with love,
But there’s a devil and she’s down here below,
She’s showing me a new and a different way to go
That verse could get you in a lot of trouble with the feminists. For my part, I very much enjoyed the song!! I feel it is very natural sounding with some nice heartfelt stuff in it. I like the feel of the vocal and the mix in general, although a little reverb on the vocal might be nice. This has a cool feel. Keep posting!! Take care. Greg Hey Greg thanks for listening, trouble from a feminists lobby is last thing I need, good job its not going to get many views on youtube  probably would tell them to substitute a he for a she in that section. As you say probably better to have more reverb on the vocals. Thanks again I enjoyed that a lot, it was almost hypnotic, in a nice way.
great rts and what sounded like the occasional doubling of the vocal was great.
Good to hear your accent shine through
A good listen
Alyn Hey Alyn, Great to hear that you had a listen, and no doubt the accent brought back some memories from your old haunts when you frequented North London. Still learning this stuff with lots of inspiration from your songs. Thanks Hello musiclover.
Found this an interesting write.
Great lyrics.
I feel you may need to try this in another key.
Over all very well done.
Rob Hello Rob thanks for listening, Believe me I have tried this in a few different keys, what it really needs is a different singer....:) Visited your soundcloud page recently and was blown away by how many songs you have there, you sure turn out the hits on a regular basis. Thanks again Hi Musiclover. I enjoyed the listen and the video. Well done. Thanks a lot Josie for taking the time to listen, really enjoy your stuff too especially that "fancy underear" song. Hope everything goes well for you in your "Save the Rhino" campaign. Musiclover, This is great! My favourite lines are...
I wonder if there’s life on mars,
I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer
That's a very sophisticated rhyme pattern you've used there. When 'stars' completes the rhyme with 'mars', you sail on past the natural close that rhyme brings and you complete the line with an additional phrase. Awesome! I've tried to accomplish this a couple of times in my lyrics but I haven't yet been as successful as I'd like. This type of rhyming puts you in the company of people like Paul Simon and Neil Diamond (see the choruses from "Homeward Bound" and "Solitary Man" below).
Homeward bound
I wish I was homeward bound
Home, where my thoughts escapin'
Home, where my music's playin'
Home, where my love lies waitin' silently for me
Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man, solitary man
It's good to see you back in the forum. All the best, Noel Noel My friend thank you for having a listen too. Your abilty to analyse lyrics and the dedication you have given to songwriting always amazes me and then to give an example as in above shows yoru wide knowledge of music. To be hones I though that the line "I wonder if theres life on Mars" was probably weakest line in song, I did try to think of something else but had to use it to link to amongst those stars conecept, but then you have gone and shown me the positive side of it, thank you ----------------------------- Thanks to everyone for their kind comments, really appreciate all the pointers people gave me on how to improve. I know this song doesn't suit my voice but as Peter Gannon says I am having fun with band in a box. Musiclover
Last edited by musiclover; 06/22/15 03:01 AM.
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I know this song doesn't suit my voice I don't believe that, your voice will be part of YOUR style!!The "Music lover" style  I vaguely remember some of the early comments about my stuff and if I had taken notice of them I wouldn't have my "gibson" style, so stick at it, it's part of the craic. ALWAYS read the advice given and ignore what you want, you can always regret it later  Your accent also reminded me that I haven't seen my little mate Tim for a while so will try and find him later. SO that's my evening ruined LOL if I can find him. keep them coming Alyn
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Hi Musiclover,
this is the first song of yours that I hear.
Good choice of Realtracks. As Rob suggested I would
try it two or three semitones higher.
Enjoyable listen though.
Nice video.
Guenter
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Thanks for listener Guenter.
Its in the key B at the moment.
Trouble is the top note in song chorus in Key B is Eflat "Amongst those stars" Eflat,Dflat,B) well over an octave about middle C, and I just about reach it. Another tone or even semi tone no way.
Maybe using Melodyne and pitch shifting a lower note it could somehow work I don't know, but to be honest probably not worth trying.
Glad you enjoyed the listen.
Musiclover
Last edited by musiclover; 06/22/15 05:20 AM.
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I know this song doesn't suit my voice I don't believe that, your voice will be part of YOUR style!!The "Music lover" style I vaguely remember some of the early comments about my stuff and if I had taken notice of them I wouldn't have my "gibson" style, so stick at it, it's part of the craic. ALWAYS read the advice given and ignore what you want, you can always regret it later Your accent also reminded me that I haven't seen my little mate Tim for a while so will try and find him later. SO that's my evening ruined LOL if I can find him. keep them coming Alyn Ah just seen your post Alyn, thanks for coming back with the encouragement, the way I look at it is as someone who has seen the Irish showbands hundreds if not thousands of times, probably have seen them yourself as well, same principle applies to most groups. The best singer is usually the best singer in band, most of the other members can pass themselves off singing a song, a lot good musicians but falling down a little on the singing side. So I can pass myself singing a song within my comfort zone, but at same time I know my limitations, well usually do when I hear my recorded voice. But as you say its part of a persons style (wise words) and I enjoy it, its a nice feeling to finish a song. Wish I could churn the songs out as fast as you Alyn, that creative spirit seems to be working overtime with you these days. Thanks to everyone for advice. Musiclover
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"but at same time I know my limitations" And therein lies the key to being a good singer. Every singer (sans melodyne) has limitations and learning to recognize them and focus on working within those limits is IMHO what makes singers interesting. Some of our absolute favorite singers have funky voices or limited ranges or both but we love them because they sing with soul and conviction. .... For my part, I very much enjoyed the song!!
I feel it is very natural sounding with some nice heartfelt stuff in it.
I like the feel of the vocal and the mix in general, although a little reverb
on the vocal might be nice. This has a cool feel. Keep posting!! T
ake care. Greg Greg pretty much hit right on our feelings. Keep doing what you are doing and don't sweat the voice. I'd rather hear a "soulful heartfelt voice" than a gritty rock voice going through the motions. And like Greg said throw in some reverb on the vocal or better yet get a vocal effect suite like Nectar 2 and find what works best for you voice. Not to really change it but enhance what you like about it. We enjoyed the song! J&B
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Musiclover,
You have a fine singing voice - let us hear more of it...
The backing tracks sound good - especially right at the start... then it seems like you dropped the whole band down considerably - I assume to get the vocal "out front". I would like to hear what it would have sounded like if you didn't do that... I think the vocal would have sat in the mix nicely just adding it in to what you had...
It only took one listen through to get your tune stuck in my head - that's a great thing...
floyd
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"but at same time I know my limitations" And therein lies the key to being a good singer. Every singer (sans melodyne) has limitations and learning to recognize them and focus on working within those limits is IMHO what makes singers interesting. Some of our absolute favorite singers have funky voices or limited ranges or both but we love them because they sing with soul and conviction. .... For my part, I very much enjoyed the song!!
I feel it is very natural sounding with some nice heartfelt stuff in it.
I like the feel of the vocal and the mix in general, although a little reverb
on the vocal might be nice. This has a cool feel. Keep posting!! T
ake care. Greg Greg pretty much hit right on our feelings. Keep doing what you are doing and don't sweat the voice. I'd rather hear a "soulful heartfelt voice" than a gritty rock voice going through the motions. And like Greg said throw in some reverb on the vocal or better yet get a vocal effect suite like Nectar 2 and find what works best for you voice. Not to really change it but enhance what you like about it. We enjoyed the song! J&B Thanks Janice and Bud for taking the time to listen and for your advice as regards vocals. I have nectar but going through the presets in the past haven't found anything that made it sound better, maybe its time to have another look, or should that be listen. This is what makes this forum so worthwhile to get feedback, from people such as yourselves who live and breathe music and to get good advice as regards recording and vocal techniques. Really appreciate it, many thanks Musiclover
Last edited by musiclover; 06/23/15 02:39 AM.
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Musiclover,
You have a fine singing voice - let us hear more of it...
The backing tracks sound good - especially right at the start... then it seems like you dropped the whole band down considerably - I assume to get the vocal "out front". I would like to hear what it would have sounded like if you didn't do that... I think the vocal would have sat in the mix nicely just adding it in to what you had...
It only took one listen through to get your tune stuck in my head - that's a great thing...
floyd Hey thanks Floyd for having a listen, yes you are right I did drop the band down ....probably a bit too much it seems. Will regroup the band to a group bus in Cubase and do a quick level check against the vocal to see how it goes. Congrats on your new cd, more excellent songs from the maestro himself. Thanks again for your advice musiclover
Last edited by musiclover; 06/23/15 02:38 AM.
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Hello musiclover.
Found this an interesting write.
Great lyrics.
I feel you may need to try this in another key.
Over all very well done.
Rob +1. I agree this is a good write. It is catchy, but I think it needs to be transposed up a bit. I really enjoyed it. Tom
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Nice fun song; thanks for sharing!
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hello musiclover.
Found this an interesting write.
Great lyrics.
I feel you may need to try this in another key.
Over all very well done.
Rob +1. I agree this is a good write. It is catchy, but I think it needs to be transposed up a bit. I really enjoyed it. Tom Thanks Tom for having a listen, pleased you find it a catchy enough tune. Unfortunately transposing it up is not possible for me (though probably not apparent on first hearing song) as its in Key B and the lyrics in chorus (amongst those stars) have notes Eb Db and b the Eb being an octave + 3 semitones above middle c, just about reach that Eb. Thanks for having a listen. Musiclover
Last edited by musiclover; 06/23/15 09:42 PM.
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Nice fun song; thanks for sharing! Glad you got enjoyed the listen PG, thanks for dropping in. Musiclover
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