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Here's another from 50/90. Hope you like this one. It's a bit somber. Any comments welcome. https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge/frankie-509033Only 2 backing tracks Guitar - RT 1814 - Celtic Air Piano - RT 1262 - Pop Shining We buried Len up the hillside in Waitangi facing the sea and the sunrise. The Onyx wrecked on the reef. His wartime wounds caught up at last and stopped his warm heart. The misty rain, keening wind and wailing ancient kuias unnerve us. Buy you a beer said Nick the greek and it was all on. No supply ship and no beer in the pub so we get wiped out on jugs of rum and coke and ouzo then back to the camp somehow. Leo asks me what I said to Frankie that made him cry. No memory of it then I left the island for home. Next time I see Leo he tells me Frankie washed up on the beach below the wharf and my memory slowly clears. Your a good for nothing wharf rat. Drinking, smoking, yarning, sitting there all day. Blocking my unloading, getting in the way. You'd do everyone a favour if you'd jump in the tide and drown your bloody self. Maybe one day he did. Sorry Frankie. Theres nothing as useless as sorry. Frankie Frankie crying at the bar leaking rum and coke Off our heads on spirits brains gone up in smoke Bare plank floor battered jugs great big rolls of cash 20 bucks a point at darts Lens wake we're on the bash Frankie's such a nice old chap laughin like a loon Taking up the loading berth been there all after-noon I can't get in can't get out for beer smokes and talk He's makin life so bloody hard acting like a dork Frankies sad and Frankies blue Tell Ya Frankie I am too Heres a message just for you Tell you what to do I tell Frankie straight hes a dirty damn dis-grace A hopeless helpless useless gas-baging waste of space He should pull himself to-gether and I be-lieve we'd all a-gree Row out to deep water and jump into the sea It may-be that one dark day that's just what he did Frankies sad and Frankies blue Tell Ya Frankie I am too Heres a message just for you Tell you what to do Cant remember all of what I said there at the bar Years later as my head clears it all seems so biz-arre He washed up on the beach inside the wharf below the pub I wonder did he slip or did he jump
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Very heartfelt in an odd sort of contradicting way.
You painted quite a rich picture in words there, both in your prologue on here as well as in the lyrics, so keeping the arrangement to the absolute minimum actually works to underline that richness of the words and the colourful vocals.
Sometimes less is indeed more.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
BBox 2022 Audiophile, Mac Pro Intel, OSX 10.6.8, 800x600 (TV VGA)
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Rich,
Phew!! What an emotive song.
Your delivery and the sparse arrangement was perfect for this lament.
What a listen, and what a way to end the song "I wonder did he slip or did he jump"
just gotta sit a while in silence before I post this reply
What a song *shakes your hand with respect*
Alyn
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Like Alyn, it took some time for me to form a response. You consistently write songs with the most emotional range, and this is one of them. Strong write, and the sparse delivery works. The only nit is something that I've noticed in a number of your songs: you choose rhymes that are "correct", but draw attention to themselves because they feel rhymey or cliche. For example: Heres a message just for youIt's a serviceable rhyme, but it's also a cliche. It's the sort of thing that I'd hope to rewrite in a later draft, because it feels more like filler than something that supports your message. To me, it simply dilutes your message. Similarly: Cant remember all of what I said there at the bar
Years later as my head clears it all seems so biz-arreThe word "bizarre" feels like it was picked because it rhymed instead of it being the right word. Personally, I think it's better to have a weaker rhyme, or even no rhyme than to do that. A Soldier's Things (Tom Waits) comes to mind of that sort of song that gets by without rhymes. The other only nit is the melody on the verse feels like a AA sort of form, and it could use a bit more variety instead of sounding like the same thing twice. Anyway, this isn't meant to sound negative. You're a really powerful writer with an original voice, and you write some really awesome stuff.
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Another heartfelt emotional write.
Thanks Rich. Rob.
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Hi Rich,
you're a grear lyricist.
Thanks for the background story.
It's hard to bear.
Guenter
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A very sad story. You are quite the poet. I enjoyed the song.
Sonny Here's another from 50/90. Hope you like this one. It's a bit somber. Any comments welcome. https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge/frankie-509033Only 2 backing tracks Guitar - RT 1814 - Celtic Air Piano - RT 1262 - Pop Shining We buried Len up the hillside in Waitangi facing the sea and the sunrise. The Onyx wrecked on the reef. His wartime wounds caught up at last and stopped his warm heart. The misty rain, keening wind and wailing ancient kuias unnerve us. Buy you a beer said Nick the greek and it was all on. No supply ship and no beer in the pub so we get wiped out on jugs of rum and coke and ouzo then back to the camp somehow. Leo asks me what I said to Frankie that made him cry. No memory of it then I left the island for home. Next time I see Leo he tells me Frankie washed up on the beach below the wharf and my memory slowly clears. Your a good for nothing wharf rat. Drinking, smoking, yarning, sitting there all day. Blocking my unloading, getting in the way. You'd do everyone a favour if you'd jump in the tide and drown your bloody self. Maybe one day he did. Sorry Frankie. Theres nothing as useless as sorry. Frankie Frankie crying at the bar leaking rum and coke Off our heads on spirits brains gone up in smoke Bare plank floor battered jugs great big rolls of cash 20 bucks a point at darts Lens wake we're on the bash Frankie's such a nice old chap laughin like a loon Taking up the loading berth been there all after-noon I can't get in can't get out for beer smokes and talk He's makin life so bloody hard acting like a dork Frankies sad and Frankies blue Tell Ya Frankie I am too Heres a message just for you Tell you what to do I tell Frankie straight hes a dirty damn dis-grace A hopeless helpless useless gas-baging waste of space He should pull himself to-gether and I be-lieve we'd all a-gree Row out to deep water and jump into the sea It may-be that one dark day that's just what he did Frankies sad and Frankies blue Tell Ya Frankie I am too Heres a message just for you Tell you what to do Cant remember all of what I said there at the bar Years later as my head clears it all seems so biz-arre He washed up on the beach inside the wharf below the pub I wonder did he slip or did he jump
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Thanks Icelander.
This is something that's been in the back of my mind for years.
Started with a full arrangement and after removing what was not needed ended up with just the guitar.
Added the piano in choruses for variety. Cheers.
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Thanks for the fantastic comments Alyn.
I seem to have a pretty wide morbid streak. Oh well. Cheers.
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This is quite reflective and not something you hear everyday - wondering about what you said. I got a kick out of the word "dork" - now there's one rarely heard in a song.
I think you are quite the folk poet with your intricately woven detailed stories.
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That opening Em7 into E was inspired!
The whole song is Brilliant!
and thanks for the back story too
oh and I may totally steal your simple guitar/vocal arrangement for a song I'm writing now.
Last edited by gruverider; 10/07/15 01:32 PM.
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Somber as it is, this is my favorite from you so far. This song is so good on so many levels. The arrangement and choices of instruments, the sparsity, the message and delivery. I could go on and on. I think this is the best I've heard from you yet.
I'll be back for more listens and study of this one.
Good job.
Charlie
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Thank you David. I really enjoy your comments and observations and hope to incorporate some slight changes in future songs and revisions. ( I have 60 more to work on). I agree completely with the points you make. Thanks for taking the time. Cheers.
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Richard,
I'm with Charlie on this. Your best ever (among many good ones).
A high-caliber write. Reminds me of the best of Tom Waits...things like "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" or "Burma Shave".
Very nice production... and well performed.
Excellent on many levels (did Charlie say that, too?)
floyd
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Thanks for the listen Bob. I'm glad that ones done. Cheers.
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Thanks a lot Guenter.
Storys from a long time ago never shared before. Cheers.
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Hi there Rich,
Original, heartfelt lyrics as always.
That Celtic Air RT works very well as the basis of the song.
Another one well done!
Rob
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Hello,
very intimate song.
great acoustic guitar that accompanies your story.
Nice melody on it.
Sergio.
Sergio
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Thanks Sonny. Yes a bit of a disaster story but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Cheers.
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Well thanks Josie. Don't know about folk poet. I like the sound of words but sometimes string them together in ways that don't make much sense. And yes Dork is one from my childhood. Haven't heard it for years. Cheers.
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