Teetotaler vs the Toe Teedler by A. Hugh Jiddyut!
I've been a ol teetotaler, all of my life
but never found a place, to go lookin for a wife
Thought I'd try a bar, and maybe a few drinks
so I jumped in my truck, drove down to Thumperdinks
Got up my courage, and went into the bar
after 6 drinks later, met a girl name of Star
She waltzed right on over, and she said to me
Hey there gorgeous, are you too good to be?
I said that alcohol had never touched my lip
it was my first time, and was already lit
She asked me what I did, and do you love me honey?
I'm a Toe Teedler, but thought I'd made a funny.
She yelled out and threw me, there upon on the floor
ripped off a boot and pitched it, right through the door
then she shoved her foot, smack dab in my kisser
then she started sangin, and she told me mister
Teedle my Toes…….no body ever Teedled them before
Teedle my Toes……. don'tcha stop a Teedling forever more
Next thing I remember, was crawling out of bed
head was pounding heavy, and wishing I was dead
and on my left hand finger was a shiny band of gold
grinning right beside me, the first thing I was told
Teedle my Toes…….no body ever Teedled them before
Teedle my Toes……. don'tcha stop a Teedlin forever more
The moral of this story I'm sure you'll all concur
It's better to be the Teedlee, than the Teedler
if your wife says jump, don't even ask what fer.
if she says Teedle me, ya better Teedle her
I'll Teedle your Toes…….like no one has Teedled them before
I'll Teedle your Toes……. and I won't stop Teedlin forever more
and I won't stop a Teedlin that's for shore!!!!!
At least let me take my teeth out first…..Dang it I'm Teedlin as FAST as I can!
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