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#422595 07/20/17 07:13 PM
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Here's a remixed version of a demo song I've written 8 years ago.

You Are There

Here are the BIAB RealTracks I used:
RealTracks in song: 1036:Bass, Electric, NorthernRockBallad Ev 065
RealTracks in song: 891:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment PopLiverpool Ev 065
RealTracks in song: ~897:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm FolkRock Ev16 065
RealTracks in song: ~~688:Organ, B3, Background Pop Ev 065
RealTracks in song: 1543:Synth Pad, PopBelieve Ev16 065
RealTracks in song: 910:Piano, Electric, Rhythm SmoothBallad Ev16 065
RealDrums: RealDrums in Song: SmoothJazzBallad^4-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat

I generated 2 instances of the acoustic piano and since BIAB does not generate the track the same way each time you render, the effect sounds good when to me when I have one each extremely on the left and right.

Vocals were recorded using Logic Pro X. The same DAW was used for the final mix.

I open to any suggestions or corrections to improve the song further.

I hope you'll like it.

Froi #422598 07/20/17 08:23 PM
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I enjoyed this melodic tune.
very well produced.
I would like to see the intro reduced by around four bars.
Good work.
Rob

Froi #422628 07/21/17 02:59 AM
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This was a treat to listen to, Froi! It shows an excellent performance, and it sounds very professionally produced as well. I'll definitely be coming back to this one - thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
Rob4580 #422644 07/21/17 04:34 AM
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Originally Posted By: Rob4580
I enjoyed this melodic tune.
very well produced.
I would like to see the intro reduced by around four bars.
Good work.
Rob


Thanks Rob. I'll work on reducing the intro. My daughter gave me the same comment too. smile

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Thanks Deryk!!!

Froi #422647 07/21/17 04:45 AM
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Thus sounds great!!

Loved it.

Excellent job. Beautiful vocals.

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Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Thus sounds great!!

Loved it.

Excellent job. Beautiful vocals.


Agreed!! A total class production. Everything works. Great vocal. Cool song!! Take care. Greg

Froi #422726 07/21/17 12:38 PM
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Hi Froi, Thank you for sharing this with us, really enjoyed the piano progression and vocals. Well done! smile


Cheers,
Joe
Froi #422750 07/21/17 03:43 PM
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Nice! I enjoyed the song and agree that it's a total class production.

That said, I can never resist a suggestion or two. wink

This lyric stuck out a bit:

You always help me out
And bring me liberty


The word "liberty" doesn't seem a good fit. For one, it doesn't match the informal language you've used up to that point. Second, it seems to me that bringing someone liberty is a bit more than "helping out".

The lyric:

I call upon your name

also moves from an informal familiarity to a very formal relationship, as opposed to:

I'm calling out your name

I'm not saying it's wrong, and certainly not saying my suggestion is better. I think I know why you wrote it like that - I just thought I'd be mention it. crazy

Finally - and a hesitate to say it, because I've got a pretty severe lateral "s" myself - there are some points where "there" comes out as "dare".

But... these are all tiny nits. It really is a total class production, and enjoyable to listen to.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
Froi #422761 07/21/17 05:18 PM
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Thanks David, Gregg and Joe!!!

dcuny #422762 07/21/17 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Nice! I enjoyed the song and agree that it's a total class production.

That said, I can never resist a suggestion or two. wink

This lyric stuck out a bit:

You always help me out
And bring me liberty


The word "liberty" doesn't seem a good fit. For one, it doesn't match the informal language you've used up to that point. Second, it seems to me that bringing someone liberty is a bit more than "helping out".

The lyric:

I call upon your name

also moves from an informal familiarity to a very formal relationship, as opposed to:

I'm calling out your name

I'm not saying it's wrong, and certainly not saying my suggestion is better. I think I know why you wrote it like that - I just thought I'd be mention it. crazy

Finally - and a hesitate to say it, because I've got a pretty severe lateral "s" myself - there are some points where "there" comes out as "dare".

But... these are all tiny nits. It really is a total class production, and enjoyable to listen to.


Thanks a lot for your very valuable comment.

I have to rethink on how to write the first point you indicated. For the second point, I can replace it as per you suggestion. For the third, I have a mild lisp so there are some parts that I really have to re-take to correct it. smile As for the word "there", I haven't realize it until you pointed it out. Good observation. I'll be careful with that next time.

Once again, thank you so much!!!

Froi #422889 07/23/17 12:45 AM
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Very cool tune. Well done..


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
Froi #422993 07/23/17 08:31 PM
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Thanks Scott!!! smile

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