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#552420 09/01/19 09:23 AM
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https://soundcloud.com/user-770148857/pattersons-jaw


I used bass 536, guitar 2436, bari sax 2134, background horns 2630 and new orleans drums. Vox by Steve Eamer from fiverr.


Lyrics Pattersons Jaw

I met a girl who liked to go to the fights,
Bloodshed and crowd roar every night,
Sweat and ammonia in the ringside seats,
Strong up in your nose just like the smell of defeat,
Still I tried to take her home to meet my maw,
She said, "Back up bud, you got a serious flaw."
Awwww.

We drove from state to state and every arena,
If you got blood to give I'm betting we've seen ya,
She got a tattoo that says Moider Da Bum!
She got nothing for me, I'm a lonely lum,
I finally asked her 'bout this here so-called flaw,
She said, "You got a heart like Floyd Patterson's jaw."

You can imagine how the story ends up,
She falls in love with a welterweight chump,
She never could pick em in the ring or out,
He beat her and she bled and then I threw the bum out.
But one thing she got right, it still rubs me raw,
I got a heart like Floyd Patterson's jaw.

Last edited by TuneMonger; 09/01/19 09:31 AM.

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Hi Tunemonger,

I love the choice of instruments you've put together here and the way you've arranged them is excellent. The vibe you created mesmerised me! In addition, Steve's vocals are a perfect fit for the story telling journey that these lyrics travel on.

And speaking of the lyrics, you've done a great job putting these words together. I found them very creative and engaging from start to end.

All the best,
Noel


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I'm with Noel on this - I really enjoyed the storytelling, and the instruments really enhanced that.

Two suggestions to ignore - the song is fine without them, I just thought I'd throw them out:

First, I'm rarely a fan of the default BiaB endings because they sound a bit canned, and this one also seemed to finish a bit abruptly.

Second, there's an "old timey" sort of Tom Waits sound to this, so running the vocal through a notch filter/phone effect might help with that vibe.

Nice job all around!


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My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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TM,

A very clever write...well penned.

The instrumentation is just what it needs to be. And your singer did an excellent job.

A good mix.

I think you could have gotten away without the "Floyd" (as much as it pains me to say that!) and just left it at "Patterson's jaw"... for the prosody of it...

Excellent.

fj

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What a great set of lyrics and a clever idea for a song!

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Very original song in a sweet-sounding package. Mr. Eamer delivered with deep simplicity and feel. Much enjoyed.


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Very nice atmospheric piece of story telling.
The vocal was nicely done.

A strong piece of songwriting, very good.

Peter

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Nice idea for a story telling type song and good writing too.

As I started typing this review your barrelhouse song started playing automatically and I remembered how much I enjoyed your harp playing on that song. I wonder how this song would sound if you used harp instead of the sax?

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This is a very good song, with a somewhat surprising start.
And the vocals surely fits in this type of song. Very strong performance!

Hans


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Nicely done! It's really catchy and I loved your vocals on this. It's nicely gruff and really easy to follow as well. Some really good storytelling - all in all it makes for a memorable tune.

Great work and thanks for sharing smile


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Deryk
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Excellent song idea followed up with clever lyrics.
Your vocalist has a good feel for the style.
Backing works... I like BlueAttitude`s suggestion on how this might sound with your harp.

Robert

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This is a really nice mixture of instruments you've used here. It gives the sound a lot of depth. Thanks for sharing!


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Ember
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Hi TuneMonger,

I had read the lyrics before I listened to the song (think they're absolutely awesome, hpe they're not autobiographical...) and after that was expecting some completely different type of music.

So, big surprise when I started the song, but within seconds: Ah - yeah, that's the exact way of telling this gorgeous story.

Great instrumentation and steve's vocals fit like a glove. A treat - Chapeau !!!!

Regards,

Stefan

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The vocals are a little loud and need a fast attack compressor I think.
The songs is cool as is the arrangement.
Did the singer write the melody or you?
Cool.


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rayc
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Cool in so many ways...the very unique lyric, the melody, the vocal and the backing tracks all sound like a well honed club band.

We are sax fans and, man, do those two sound great.

The only nit is that it could have lasted longer!

An excellent and fun listen.

Well done indeed.

J&B


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Now this is a cool song! Love the great instrumentation and mix. Awesome vocal by Steve.

More of this please!

Bob

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Thanks to all for the kind words re Patterson's Jaw.

dcuny: yes, I was going for a Tom Waits vibe! Thanks, I will try the telephone effect.

Floyd: good to know, I will work on the flow in that part of the song

Dave and Robert: thanks for the encouragement to play harp. I will try in the future. It's hard, comparing myself to the RT artists, not to let their superior skill fill the job.

rayc: I have Waves gold, which includes neve 1073. Would that work? What attack speed do you recommend? As to the song, I write all my melodies, chords and lyrics. Thanks for your help.


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Gloomy story, great title. The vocalist does an excellent job to interpret it. Vocals are also mixed nicely. And the band is really perfect match for the mood, sax gives some extra "blood".

Janne


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Cool tune. Clever lyrics! Overall feel, vocals & mix is pro level, nothing to add except for compliments. Enjoyed this a lot.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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Loved this tune. Such a cool intro. Back track was excellent and exceptional vocal delivery.


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