Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Can a song be too personal? I`m not often a fan of highly confessional songs( everybody hurts!)and have left the subject of this one aside for so long that my power to help of influence the person who suffered has probably passed... and all I can do is write a song. If you listen and have constructive comments,they are most welcome. Unseen Unknown Unheard Style is _HOMESIK.STY (Homesick Soft Pop Serenade) RealTracks in style: ~2474:Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085 RealTracks in song: 2461:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm NewAgeAlbertiPretty Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 3059:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Muted16thsFintan Ev16 080 RealTracks in song: 2336:Viola, Background, Pop Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 2338:Violin, Background, PopLow Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085 RealDrums [in style:CongasEv16[single] [Multi] Unseen Unknown Unheard wanting to be seen my lord made jewels green to live in your eyes carry silence with you like a backpack like those birds out the window at school one day turning cartwheels then holding your breath seeing faces from the bottom of a pool we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand games behind closed doors the cost to keep mum on the tip of your tongue like a brand you slip through the seam between worlds unseen unknown unheard needing to be known the heart outgrows bone beats beyond your walls he sent a singing postcard playing we`ll meet again in the fort we made to be safe there`s a ghost at the table girl without edges where is my sister you replaced slip back through the seam between worlds be seen be known be heard longing to be heard the beginnings of words no secret can contain no secret can contain © Robert Cordrey Aug. 2019
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,074
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,074 |
Robert, Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing. Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,146
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,146 |
Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,098
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,098 |
Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed. The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy. (a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,365
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,365 |
Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414
PG Music Staff
|
PG Music Staff
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414 |
Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing
Cheers, Deryk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Robert, Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing. Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
I appreciate that, Misha. Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting! Thanks for the positive comments, particularly on the vocals. My intro comments probably reflect a hesitance about posting this one-closet skeletons and all that. Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed. The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy. (a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj Floyd, I`m pleased you liked the acappella opening- it was a late choice to believe the harmonies were good enough. Getting the percussive guitar a little under the pretty piano seemed to do the trick. Your comments are so supportive- I can`t thank you enough for the careful listening and sensitivity behind your reviews. Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 19,302
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 19,302 |
Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand
games behind closed doors the cost to keep mum on the tip of your tongue like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,388
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,388 |
Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,750
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,750 |
Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677 |
Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,734
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,734 |
"there`s a ghost at the table girl without edges where is my sister you replaced "
That's a "run off the road" two lines if one were driving while listening....incredibly powerful.
And the lyric is outstanding all the way through. Zero filler.
The vocals are amongst your best...Stefan has the word, "vulnerable."
It would be hard to imagine a better arrangement, band or mix to support this write.
It's all been already stated more eloquently than we are capable...
Amazing.
J&B
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
I very much appreciate that, Bob...makes the choice to share so worth while. Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing Deryk, Thanks for all your listens and positive comments. Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand
games behind closed doors the cost to keep mum on the tip of your tongue like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel Noel, I set a few inner ground rules for writing the lyrics: -make it clear the song is about the sexual abuse of a child, without using gratuitous detail. -write both from the child`s point of view and the adult, believing there is healing to be found. -its unlikely my sister will hear the song, but if she does, have I written a message of love and support? The responses from the generous listeners here make me I hope I succeeded in some way. Thanks for your kind comments. Robert -
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,916
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,916 |
Hi Robert
I dont think you can be too personal. That is what makes songwriting great and deeply fulfilling.
Loved the line "seeing faces from the bottom of a pool"
A fantastic write all round.
Well done.
J
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,607
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,607 |
Robert
A very emotional sad write and beautifully performed. As floyd said a great mix and vocal.
One of your absolute best.
Peter
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,615
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,615 |
Robert, I like it and the imagery/impressions it gave BUT the 1st stanza, to my eyes and ears, doesn't seem to belong. Well, the "my lord" bit anyway. Impressionistic/picture painting/cinematic all fit the vibe and arrangement. Cool stuff.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,002
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,002 |
Hauntingly tangible poetry. Your singing is really emotional. I like the piano playing its own dark melancholy. Excellent use of string instruments.
Janne
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song! Dave, Thanks for your listen and the endorsement of the vocal- its not easy to balance feeling and good technique sometimes. I think if folks don`t find the subject and lyrics at least uncomfortable in places I wouldn`t have succeeded, though I understand how this song could be outside the bounds for some. Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
Scott, Thank you-actually double-thanks because diving in to our next collaboration has helped me move on from this song. Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan That`s a cool review- thank you! Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,381
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,381 |
"...and all I can do is write a song."
Lovely little band you've put together here. JUST enough to support. I'm quite stunned by the delicacy of the lyric (framed by your fragile vocal and rhythmic phrasing). I not only think this is the best lyric I've heard from you, but it may well be the best lyric of it's type I've heard anywhere.
Any time.
Ever.
That's all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,483
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,483 |
Hi, Robert !
How original isn´t your most lovely tune ! Evoking a lot of emotions really ! Congrats !
Cheers Dani
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Generate Lyrics for your Band-in-a-Box songs with LyricLab!
Need some lyrics to complete your Band-in-a-Box song? LyricLab is here to help!
LyricLab (by Joanne Cooper) is an AI-powered tool designed to quickly create lyrics and chords to fit your music. Just enter a rough idea of your lyrics, and let the AI bring them to life. Once you're happy with the results, simply import the LyricLab file into Band-in-a-Box® 2024 or newer. From there, you can pick your style and generate melodies to match your song’s chords!
Learn more about LyricLab here!
Watch the video.
Band-in-a-Box 2024 Italian for Mac is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Mac is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Mac Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK & 7, Xtra Styles PAK 17 & 18, und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Mac® is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6 & 7, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 & 18, et bien plus encore!
New! XPro Styles PAK 7 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Mac!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 7 with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 50 RealTracks and RealDrums that are sure to delight!
With XPro Styles PAK 7 you can expect 25 rock & pop, 25 jazz, and 25 country styles, as well as 25 of this year's wildcard genre: Celtic!
Here's a small sampling of what XPro Styles PAK 7 has to offer: energetic rock jigs, New Orleans funk, lilting jazz waltzes, fast Celtic punk, uptempo train beats, gritty grunge, intense jazz rock, groovy EDM, soulful R&B, soft singer-songwriter pop, country blues rock, and many more!
Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 7 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Supercharge your Band-in-a-Box 2024® with XPro Styles PAK 7! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Watch the XPro Styles PAK 7 Overview & Styles Demos video.
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2024 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
New! Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Mac!
Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box version 2024 is here with 200 brand new styles to take for a spin!
Along with 50 new styles each for the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, we’ve put together a collection of styles using sounds from the SynthMaster plugin!
In this PAK you'll find: dubby reggae grooves, rootsy Americana, LA jazz pop, driving pop rock, mellow electronica, modern jazz fusion, spacey country ballads, Motown shuffles, energetic EDM, and plenty of synth heavy grooves! Xtra Style PAK 18 features these styles and many, many more!
Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 18 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Expand your Band-in-a-Box 2024® library with Xtra Styles PAK 18! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 18 here.
Watch the Xtra Styles PAK 18 Overview & Styles Demos video.
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 18 requires the 2024 UltraPAK/UltraPAK+/Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
New! Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Windows!
Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box version 2024 is here with 200 brand new styles to take for a spin!
Along with 50 new styles each for the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, we’ve put together a collection of styles using sounds from the SynthMaster plugin!
In this PAK you'll find: dubby reggae grooves, rootsy Americana, LA jazz pop, driving pop rock, mellow electronica, modern jazz fusion, spacey country ballads, Motown shuffles, energetic EDM, and plenty of synth heavy grooves! Xtra Style PAK 18 features these styles and many, many more!
Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 18 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Expand your Band-in-a-Box 2024® library with Xtra Styles PAK 18! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 18 here.
Watch the Xtra Styles PAK 18 Overview & Styles Demos video.
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 18 requires the 2024 UltraPAK/UltraPAK+/Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums65
Topics83,143
Posts754,762
Members39,054
|
Most Online3,932 Nov 19th, 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|