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Ever since lockdown started, I've stepped a little back from writing music. Too many things going on at once to have the peace to sit down and write properly. That said, tonight was different ... so here's something new, which I hope you may enjoy! Thank you, as always, for listening and for any comments and feedback! Please stay well and safe! https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/forever-mineLYRICS: I know it's dark outside But, baby, hold my hand; For I am all alone In this strange, foreign land. I know that you are scared, But, baby, so am I; You know it is too soon For what we have to die. So stay here as I fight This one more fight I have; If anything will help It is your sincere love. And, as I breathe, stand by To hold me - oh what bliss It is to be in your arms And feel your one more kiss. And as the dawn arrives And saved we are once more I owe it all to you And nothing's as before. So stay here as I fight This fight just one more time; And then, once it's all done Forever ... and ever ... you'll be mine. ****** Song Summary ************* Title: Song - 2 May 2020 File:Song - 2 May 2020.SGU Key=E , Tempo 60, Length (m:s)=3:28 No intro. 48 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 48. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Style is _NEBULA.STY (Nebula Modern Country Pop Ballad) RealTracks in style: 1592:Bass, Electric, Pop16ths Ev 065 RealTracks in style: 3101:Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm AmericanaSlow16thsMike Ev16 060 RealTracks in style: 3160:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm AmericanaSlow16thsBrent Ev16 060 RealTracks in style: 2542:Pedal Steel, Background ModernBalladAtmosphere Ev16 065 RealDrums [in style:BluesRockSlowEv^3-a:SideStick , b:Snare, Ride *******************
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Hi James,
I hope you wouldn't stand back from making music as long as the lockdown lasts, that would be a pity!
I like your style of 'singing' and the songs you make. They are very sensitive with a sweet, nice melody line.
There is a danger in having this style though. The songs can feel alike. So beware of that.
Maybe for a next song you can try using a higher tempo (say 110 bpm) and so you have to speak your words quicker. Like some kind of hip hop. Don't get me wrong on that style, but here in the Netherlands it is very populair. Try it and let me hear. I sometimes try it myself, although they are not yet (at all) ready for publishing...
Have a nice day,
Hans
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James,
A good lyric. I was thinking the same things that Hans mentioned. It's kinda slow - and often takes too long for a thought to get finished. Picking up the tempo is something to consider...
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You have a very engaging style, James. Your lyrics are always top-notch, and your delivery is always pleasant. But, man, this IS slow. It's part of the appeal, yes, but it's like listening to someone who stutters and you want to finish their sentence for them. Still. I don't want you to change. I will patiently wait, for your story is always worth it.
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"And as the dawn arrives
And saved we are once more
I owe it all to you
And nothing's as before."
That says a lot!
Very well written and thought provoking.
Thanks for sharing.
J&B
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Thanks so much, everyone - genuinely appreciated. I WAS, initially, a little worried about the slow tempo of the song, but thought: ah, it'll work. Evidently not - so I'll look at it again as soon as I can. Shouldn't be too much of a problem to speed it up a little. And yes, Hans, these kind of songs can indeed sound too similar - something I'm actively trying to avoid - you spot all my own worries so well ... have you been in my head lately? haha. You are picking up on every worry of mine immediately. As for an up-tempo spoken song, see if you like this? I wrote this last year ... see what you think if you have time - and THANKS Hans and indeed everyone for such incredibly perceptive feedback! https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/the-servant?in=jamesdelsono/sets/best-of-2019
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James, I feel just the opposite of some of my Internet friends.I like the slowness on this piece. It gives you time to have the lyrics sink in, which by the way, are outstanding.
Your instrumentation is spot on and a good contrast for your spoken work.
I found this to be a very exception piece of music. Great work!
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Yes James, that and even a slightly higher tempo is improving the song. I liked listening to this song as well!
But there are some things I have to say about The Servant: There is too much sibilance in the vocals and they are a little loud, and the second thing is; try to avoid very large lyrics. Concentrate also on the melody and the variations in it. Then both of them (the vocals and the music) can gain in entertainment/ listening pleasure, if I'm expressing myself correctly.
Cheers,
Hans
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James,
The tempo isn`t an issue for me; I do find myself hearing some lines which beg for variation in expression though. The power in understatement ( your spoken word) is in the contrast with passages that are more overtly passionate...a few sung passages with held notes would transform this.
You have a cool style and write powerful lyrics, so take this as just my preference for drama in a song!
Robert
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Thanks everyone!
MarioD: thanks so much! It's so interesting to see so many great musicians have different opinions! I think the moral of the story is that I must, ultimately, trust my own judgement, for good or for bad, haha. Thank you so much - I'm so glad you enjoyed the song!
Hans: "The Servant" was produced about a year ago, when I was worse at dealing with levels and sibilance and all that. I'm not much better now, but a little better I hope I am! haha. I really need to re-do that song ... but thanks for listening to it and thank you for your very kind advice!
Robert: so perceptive! I think you're absolutely spot on, for what it's worth. A little variation in tone, dramatic effect, etc., would definitely help. I was feeling totally under the weather a few days ago, when I wrote this (still am, but recovering, thankfully), so I thought I'd write a song about someone a little under the weather, given the whole world stuff going on right now, etc. - so I probably overdid the whole man-in-pain thing, haha (at the expense of variation, etc.), but that's how I was feeling! haha. Anyway, your comments are definitely food for thought - thanks so much!
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James, Interesting write! I am with Mario on this. I like it slow  I see that the way you record your vocals had improved, a big step up! Thank you for sharing. Misha.
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Hey James,
This is a very pretty song! Thanks so much for posting it.
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Thanks David! Appreciate your kind words!
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