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Another one from me ... be warned, I'm actually singing on this one ;-) ... hope you like it. Thanks for listening and for any comments! https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/danceDANCE And I saw you from across the room Quite so, by chance ... And, so suddenly, my heart went boom Seeing your glance ... I looked down ... and so did you Once our eyes met ... We both blushed ... and, tout d'un coupThe moment went ... And I wonder what it would've been like To hold you into my arms And I wonder what we could have started that night Had I asked you ... asked you to dance. *** Many years have passed ever since that time I saw you first And, in my heart with a burning flame, I see the ghost Of a beautiful, stunning lady Who smiled at me ... With a photo in my hand, so hazy, Still you I see ... *** And I wonder what it would've been like To hold you into my arms ... And I wonder what we could have started that night Had I asked you to dance ... *** Had I asked you to dance. THE BAND ****** Song Summary ************* Title: Dance - 16 February 2021 File:Dance - 16 February 2021.SGU Key=D , Tempo 85, Length (m:s)=3:09 No intro. 63 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 63. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody Soloist track has 179 notes, Soloist harmony is < no harmony >(0) Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Song is saved with bar changes for Key Signature, Style is _BATON.STY (Baton Folky Pop) RealTracks in style: 908:Bass, Electric, SmoothBallad Ev16 065 RealTracks in style: 1006:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment, PopCaliforniaSlow Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 3412:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm OldTimeSadBallad Ev16 065 RealDrums [in style:PopPromiseEv16^5-a: Snare, HiHat , b: Snare, Ride ******************* Mixed in Audacity, mastered in Bandlab (don't ask me how, I have no idea ... I just played around with the buttons until it sounded remotely acceptable to my ears ...) :-)
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Hi Musician.
My first thought was that you are getting a rushed sound to your vocal. Most likely because you have too many words in some of the lines.
It would sound less machine gun like if you tried to trim some of those words.
Vic
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Couldn't disagree more, haha ;-) The vocal may sound rushed in places, yes, but that's more due to my bad timing than because there are too many words ... I believe there are exactly as many as needed - but I do appreciate your suggestion - it's meant well, I know ... so thanks for listening and for your comment!
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James,
Quite unusual tune from you. I do recognize some signature chord changes, but overall feels like completely different genre for you.
Positive tune. There is definitely improvements in your vocal skills and recording. Perhaps a little more reverb? Vic has good ears and I thought his critique was interesting and substantial. I would never think from that angle, but I believe it does make sense.
Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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Good write! I enjoyed listening!  As you note, there are timing problems. If you're doing this in BiaB, I'd suggest looking into the "punch in" feature of recording, which allows you to re-record sections without having to re-do the whole song.
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Misha, thanks for your kind and constructive comment.
There's no easy or "nice" way to disagree with someone, but I still respectfully disagree with Vic's initial comment (and your endorsement of it, haha). I do agree that the vocal feels rushed here and there, but I will vehemently disagree with the cause of it being too many words. I can write down the rhythm of the words and it's spot on :-) - it's just that I don't follow it in places, because I have bad vocal timing, so it sounds like a snowball going downhill ... but it's not the word writing that's the fault, it's my vocal performance :-) - at least that's my opinion, haha! And yes, Vic has excellent ears, this has nothing to do with that! :-)
In any case, thank you both so much for listening and for commenting!
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Thanks David! Yes ... the fast sections are semiquavers (sixteen-notes) which have to be dead on time if they aren't to sound garbled and over one another. Argh! :-) I'll do it again at some point :-) Cheers!
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Sing it how you feel it!
I've never thought of a vocal in terms of quavers or
16th notes, etc. But then when it comes to music
theory, etc., we are but rubes out in the provinces.
Roy Acuff said on the "Circle" album, paraphrasing, to try and get it the first time because after that you loose a little something with each effort. Work it out in your head and heart and record is our FWIW approach.
Different from you, indeed, but a nice listen.
J&B
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Thank you Janice and Bud :-) Yes, you're spot on ... I never think in music notation terms when I sing either, except for when I have to describe things ... a whole different thing, that. Yes, I like to sing how I feel it, too ... except that this time it came out a little garbled, haha ... hence the probable need to re-record ... we shall see, I'm nowhere near being a singer, and the only reason I sing on these songs of mine is because no-one else will, haha :-)
And yes, I find that, unless there are glaring errors on it of course, the first take is always the best!
Thank you so much for listening and commenting ... it's good to see that we think alike on some things, i.e. that I haven't totally lost my mind and that someone as good as you two agree with my thinking here and there! :-)
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James,
Something "a little different" from your usual. Nice idea for the overall "story". Vocals are well recorded and at a good level.
I think you are on a good path...
fj
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James,
I like the pop romance of the song ( story & melody) and especially that you sang!
Happily, I`m still discovering, good vocal phrasing can be learnt ( ok, some arrive better equipped - I`m not one of them ), which is what you are doing. Keep going!
Robert
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Thank you floyd and Robert. You are AMAZING musicians, so thank you again so much for such kind comments. Good to see that you think I'm on the right path and continuing to learn ... there's no greater satisfaction for me than this. I'd rather be on the right path and learn than have the "finished article" - THAT kinda thought scares me, haha. So - thank you :-)
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Excellent song James. Excellent lyric and backtrack. I like both your styles of vocals. Well done
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Thanks Scott ... so nice to hear such a nice comment from you!
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Nice romantic little story James!! And you sang it very nicely!! Some different chord changes in the instrumental part. Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
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James, a different song from you for sure but it is a good one. As Floyd said you are on a good path.
I liked your chord progression, very nice, and your backing tracks. I also liked your voice.
Like you said your timing was a touch off in spots. If I could offer a suggestion I would suggest you get the monophonic version of Melodyne; it is also the least expensive version ($99 USD). Not only is it great for pitch correction but also timing. Using it you could get precisely what you want. Trust me, it is my automatic go to tool when ever I sing! It is only VST 3 so you will have to take your vocal out of BiaB/RB, run it through the stand-a-lone version, then bring the vocal back in. That of course will not be necessary if you are using a DAW with ARA. Just a suggestion.
Have you ever noticed there are no lines to a bathroom at a water park?
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Thank you Greg and thanks Mario!
Melodyne sounds like a great idea. I shall purchase it as soon as I can justify it to my wallet :-) - but, seriously, it sounds like something actually worth spending money on. I record the vocal outside of BiaB, so I don't see why it shouldn't work.
Thanks again for listening and for your very kind comments!
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James ...
First comment ... I always enjoy your music. It'd not "cookie-cutter" in way - meaning it has its own, unique sound, And u=it happens to be a sound i enjoy very much. It's a truly good lyric and, for my money, a nice vocal track. Precision can sound mechanical/canned. Being a wee bit off in a place or two gives it the warmth and character of a human element. Works good fro me! Loved it! More, please!!!
Take care ...
Alan
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Thank you Alan. You really get what I'm trying to do! :-) and your comments are nothing but kind and constructive, each time. Thanks again.
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I'm not counting words.
When you said you'd be singing on this one, I was expecting a bigger sound.
I thought the vocal sounded a little muffled.
Having said that, the cheap headphones I'm listening through have a bass boost so, maybe my perception is warped by that.
moto
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