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#726259 08/01/22 07:51 AM
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Here we are: A song about growing apart.
https://soundcloud.com/user-630191248

i'm having issues with losing styles after i use them so i will add the tracks when a find out how to locate them
i believe the style is _PIETY.STY.


Last edited by Billybmusic; 08/03/22 02:44 AM.
Billybmusic #726280 08/01/22 11:17 AM
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Hi Billy ...

A really nice song. And you have a great voice ... wish I had a voice like that! However, I would bring the vocal down a notch or two. My thought is they should be just a tad louder than the loudest backing rhythm track.

You can find a list of all the tracks, the style, and a bit more info in the tab near the top of the chord input page titled "MEMO". It's fairly near the center. Also, if you'd add the lyric to the post, that would be great. Your vocal makes them very clear, but reading along helps us to get an even better feel.

This has a neo-country classic vibe but with some contemporary trimmings. I grew up playing country music in the 50s and 60s. Your voice reminds me a little bit of Billy Walker. He had a deep but smooth voice, much like yours.

Nicely done and a very pleasant listen.

Alan


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Billybmusic #726324 08/02/22 03:33 AM
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Good feel and porosity, Billy, however, I'm not sure where the verses end and the choruses begin. I will suggest what others have suggested to me when I write my songs - and that is, to consider using a melodic lift with to a lyrically recurring chorus to make it a bit more dynamic. BTW, love the guitar playing.

Al-David #726327 08/02/22 04:24 AM
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Thank you for the help and i'll try bringing the vocal down in the mix. I had to go to the help at the top bar but i found song menu thanks. I still have the wrong style after i saved the track originally and recalled it up the style _PIETY.STY could not be found so i have an email in to see about getting a tech to contact me! Thanks again! I'll check out your site also. I had another soundcloud account so if you would like to here my other three songs they are.
It's never goodbye
Love Love Love
Time waits for nobody

Last edited by Billybmusic; 08/02/22 04:44 AM.
Dewey_MI #726328 08/02/22 04:26 AM
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Thanks for the Critique. I'll re-listen to it to see what i can hear and maybe do to better it. Thanks

Billybmusic #726337 08/02/22 05:50 AM
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nice character vocals. v good lyrics.

i like the stereo spread. all i might suggest is some femme bgv's in parts of the song. just an idea.

nice concept song.

an idea that came to me listening was maybe male vocs
alternating with femme vocs in different verses.
eg verse 1 male..verse 2 female...verse 3...male etc etc.

happiness.

om


my songs....mixed for good earbuds...(fyi..my vocs on all songs..)
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Thanks. I'll definitely consider these ideas: Thanks for listening!
I have songs on another sound cloud account that i have listed on the songwriter showcase. If you would like to check them out enter the titles.
It's never goodbye
Love Love Love
Time waits for nobody
I'll check out what you have posted.

Billybmusic #726393 08/02/22 01:04 PM
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Great song Billy.
I agree that the vocal could be a tad softer, i.e less volume.
I had no problem with the chorus verse thing.
Super guitar track.

Two thumbs up


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Billybmusic #726397 08/02/22 01:17 PM
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I think you've done very well with this song Billy.

The only (minor) nit I (might) have is that you could perhaps add a couple of additional real tracks during the song, as a way of building up the arrangement.

Rob


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Billybmusic #726412 08/02/22 04:29 PM
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I like the balance of vocal & backing...it is a story song after all.
The reverb might be a little "large" on the vocal compared to the backing...might need some same room tweaking.
I read the baritone as marking the chorus and it works for me.
Added instruments/voices would, at the very least, muddy the tremolo on the baritone.
I may be inclined to bring the baritone to centre stage for the solo though.
Sparse and well balanced to my ears.


Cheers
rayc
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MarioD #726442 08/03/22 01:43 AM
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Thanks Mario, i'm finding the critiques remind me two heads are better than one. Theres a lot of good insight from BIAB members.

RnAM #726445 08/03/22 01:49 AM
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Rob & Anne-Marie thanks for the critique. I will definitely think about what extra tracks could add or distract from it.

rayc #726446 08/03/22 01:55 AM
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RayC thanks. I do like to keep my vocal out front so i make sure the words can be heard clearly. I will definitely consider looking at the reverb and Baritone bump up in the solo.

Billybmusic #726448 08/03/22 01:56 AM
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Good song, Billy, and the mix is pleasing. The vocal, although top-notch quality, could go down slightly. I really like the sound of the baritone. The strumming guitar, I don't know... maybe mix it out of some sections or lower it in the mix. It seems to need a variety of feel to match the feel of the song. Lyrics are very good. I really enjoyed the listen.


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Billybmusic #726455 08/03/22 02:35 AM
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Marty: Thanks for the critique i appreciate it!

BabuMusic #726456 08/03/22 02:37 AM
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I'd like to nominate Billy for the 2022 PG Music Award for Best Male Vocals.
This reminds me of Lay Lady Lay by Bob Dylan.

I agree with some others in that it needs another track to brighten the overall sound and increase the dimensionality. B3 organ, steel guitar or maybe acoustic piano could make a difference. But overall, great job.


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Billybmusic #726507 08/03/22 09:07 AM
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Billy,

Nice, simple, easy to listen to.
You have a pleasant voice.

Nicely done. Keep 'em coming.

fj

floyd jane #726578 08/04/22 02:36 AM
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Thanks

Billybmusic #726590 08/04/22 04:30 AM
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Hi Billy
Good song
Well sung
And the background track sounds very nice
good work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Billybmusic #726592 08/04/22 04:36 AM
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Hey Billy.... very nice work. I enjoyed it.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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