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I'm very late to the party but glad that I made it. Everything that I wanted to say already has been said so again I will say how in hell haven't you three been signed!
SUPER! Mario, I am always glad when you check in. Thanks for the kind words. Tom Great song. I've listened several times to this one, and thoroughly enjoy it. A lot of talent, here. Curt, We are glad you liked it. Thank you, Tom Love the feel, the drums and mandolin especially. Good vocals!
Kicking!
Kenny Kenny, This was a bit of a challenge to mix with the acoustic and electric instruments . We were looking for a particular sound. And yes Janice can really sing! Thanks, Tom
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Janice, Tom and Bud, THIS is country as it should be, you 3 should be STARS! Everything about this is just perfect. Vocals, guitar EVERYTHING! This was the 2nd loud song for my neighbours today and the little old dear, as mentioned in my response to Rob Thurlow, waved again! (I was hanging out the washing at 6.45am and she was doing the same and she waved when I played his song loud) I'll ask her later what she thought of both  A very good way to start my day, thank you Alyn Well, we can only hope the little old dear wasn't disturbed by a song about domestic violence.  Glad you liked it! Been out and away for a time.... so getting back to listening to the tunes here.
Nice one. I love the lyrical craftsmanship on display here. Some really good lines and Floyd pointed out.
The only thing about the song that I didn't like was in the end she thought it could still work and was headed back to "daddy". I know it's a song, but my sister in law went through this and through this and through this and we were trying to help her the entire time..... she was hit, threatened with a knife and lighter fluid/bic lighter, and more.... she finally got out and has stayed out. She's now married and the slime ball is also married to someone else.
All that aside..... hey, a really nice tune.... loved the steel playing.... I would probably have shortened the solo up a bit and turned it back around into the chorus but hey.... it works, so let it roll on down the interstate.
Good job to all. Thanks Herb. It is disturbing and that made it a bit hard for me to sing. But like Tom pointed out the song emphasizes how co-dependency often results in this ending. Janice
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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The musical backing you have put behind your vocal is the perfect vehicle for this song. Voices blended very well together. Lot of talent showing here. Thanks, Torrey.
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Hi Tommy and Janice,
This is great!
Tom, we didn't know you also played the pedal steel, magnificent!
Good lyrics, vocals blend very well together.
All in all a very smooth sound.
Rob and Anne-Marie Hi Tom & Janice.
Very, VERY professional throughout.
Classy piece of writing with a classic country storyline and beautifully arranged, played and sung.
The only thing which I found difficult was reconciling the up-beat backing with the extremely sad story, particularly the inevitability of the last line.
I get the feeling this would make a great film.
ROG. This is a great tune. Powerful lyrics, a beautiful vocal and some awesome pedal steel and guitar work.
Bravo!
Thanks for the music,
Dan Thank y'all so much for mentioning the vocal. It is really appreciated! Janice I'm very late to the party but glad that I made it. Everything that I wanted to say already has been said so again I will say how in hell haven't you three been signed!
SUPER! Thanks! Mario, you are too kind. Janice Great song. I've listened several times to this one, and thoroughly enjoy it. A lot of talent, here. Love the feel, the drums and mandolin especially. Good vocals!
Kicking!
Kenny Curt and Kenny, I appreciate what you said. Thanks! Janice
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Hi Tom and Janice ...
Some good old country music with an Americana feel. Great production and performance by both of you. We loved this ... some great sounds! Congrats to both of you ...
Alan & Di
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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The musical backing you have put behind your vocal is the perfect vehicle for this song. Voices blended very well together. Lot of talent showing here. Thanks, Torrey. Torrey, We thank you very much. Tom Hi Tom and Janice ...
Some good old country music with an Americana feel. Great production and performance by both of you. We loved this ... some great sounds! Congrats to both of you ...
Alan & Di Al and Di, We've missed you. Hope you both are well. Thanks for the kind words. Best to you both, Tom
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The musical backing you have put behind your vocal is the perfect vehicle for this song. Voices blended very well together. Lot of talent showing here. Thanks, Torrey. Thanks Torrey! Janice Hi Tom and Janice ...
Some good old country music with an Americana feel. Great production and performance by both of you. We loved this ... some great sounds! Congrats to both of you ...
Alan & Di Well thank you and great to see you here! Janice
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Hi Janice and Tom, What a terrific song! Everything about this, from construction to presentation, delivers the verdict “professional all the way”. I apologise for taking so long to get this comment posted. Word tells me that I first started writing about “I-75” back on July 19. I clearly remember sitting down, typing, deleting, typing, deleting for 30 minutes or so and not getting anywhere. There are so many good things about this song that, at the time, I couldn't work out what I wanted to say. So I shelved what I'd written and decided to come back to it at a later time when my thinking was less cloudy. Tonight when I re-listened and once again read through the lyrics, it was like sunshine. What stood out to me most is just how powerful the sequence of rhymes in “I-75” is. Let me explain… At one of the first Pat Pattison seminars I went to, Pat spoke about how it's possible to construct verses and choruses by simply deciding on a sequence of rhymes and then using a predetermined poetic meter to construct lines/phrases that incorporate the rhymes. Working this way, the chances of using fresh and strong rhymes are greatly enhanced. It's a sort of 'reverse engineering' approach to lyrics. For example say I want a 4-line verse that follows the poetic meter of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' (that is 4 feet, 3 feet, 4 feet, 3 feet) and a rhyme scheme of ABAB. This could be the first verse of a song where I want to recall (say) a childhood fear of storms because I'm going to use it as a metaphor in the second verse.
For rhymes I could use something like...
blue skies
shaking
paralysed
breaking
These rhymes come across as interesting to me and seem to conjure up a story all on their own. They could then lead me onto maybe…
no blue skies
thunder shaking
I was paralysed
Heaven was breaking
The above, when being massaged into the 4-3-4-3 meter, might undergo some modifications and lead me to a verse and chorus of...
(VERSE)
Black had drowned the blue skies
The whole world was shaking
My legs and lungs were paralysed
Heaven and Hell were breaking
Horror was awakening
(CHORUS)
When the storm rages
And the winds howl
Say a prayer and remember
Sooner or later they'll blow away
And they'll leave behind them a brand new day
While there's heaps of room for improvement with the above, this seems to have some metaphoric potential for the ending of a hostile relationship. The important thing is that I've got something started and it all began with considering rhymes. As Pat says, “Don't be afraid to write crap. After all, crap is the best fertiliser.”
Back to “I-75”... When I looked at the end-of-line rhymes for your song, I found night
fight
couch
blouse
survive
I 75
How cool is that! The verse 1 "I-75" story is pretty much there at the end of the lines in rhyme. Lyrically, this packs a punch because the meaning of the words that fill the lines will be amplified by the message contained in the rhymes. This is excellent lyric crafting. If one applies the same analysis to the other song sections, it's easy to see that the rhymes are the amplifiers of meaning and emotion. Very nicely done! You've got my applause. I really enjoyed my listens. All the best, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Wow Noel. Good stuff here. It is similar to a technique a college professor showed me way back in 1972. I still recall the sequence
Night (subject)
Dark, still (two things it is)
coming, going gone (three things it does)
It never stays long ( a descriptive sentence)
Night ( repeat subject)
Then use it for your template for lyrics.
My wife and I were discussing just this morning, after a song on the radio brought back memories of years past, how music is more than something we create, it is an energy we tap into that triggers something somewhere in our brain to recall images, places and conversations that are sometimes from decades ago.
Last edited by c_fogle; 08/08/15 01:50 AM.
BIAB 2025:RB 2025, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Charlie, That's excellent stuff!!! Really excellent. And very, very useful. Such a simple weaving of words yet it engages the brain and unlocks a kaleidoscope of possibilities. So perfect for lyric writing. In the above, you've created a quality chorus (that's how I hear it, at least). I'll be adding this technique to my tool box! Here's my effort with some poetic licence...
A love affair to remember (subject)
Blazing hope and joy (two things it is)
With so many memories, it sails the years (three things it does)
And never fades, never runs away
It's sunshine on a rainy day (a desciption)
A love affair to remember (subject)
I've tried to use the "-ay" and "-un" sounds in addition to alliteration and consonance to provide sonic links so that end-of-line rhymes are not needed.
How you've described music is exactly how it works for me, too. It does something to the brain that's very valuable for happy living. A recent personal example is 90dB's cover of my song "Brighter Than Any Star". Even though I wrote the music and lyrics, and sang it a hundred times (at least) during the creation process, when I heard Bob's version, images of my sons when they were children flooded my mind. Not once did that happen when I was creating the song. For me, it was a love song, nothing more. Bob's interpretation added a whole new dimension for me that was a unique blend of his performance and my experience. I was very grateful to him for bringing me those memories. So much so that I put the song on repeat and just let it play over and over so that I could relive the past a little bit. There's a lot yet to be learnt about music and its effect on the psyche. Regards, Noel P.S. Thank you for getting out your Bic lighter and gently applying pressure to Bob
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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I just love the melody and chords of the chorus!!! and the production is so super clean!
Great song!
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Hello friends,
when it is expected the release of the 45s?
This is a great song that has nothing to envy the famous songs.
Very fine.
Hello.
Sergio
Sergio
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Charlie, That's excellent stuff!!! Really excellent. And very, very useful. Such a simple weaving of words yet it engages the brain and unlocks a kaleidoscope of possibilities. So perfect for lyric writing. In the above, you've created a quality chorus (that's how I hear it, at least). I'll be adding this technique to my tool box! Here's my effort with some poetic licence...
A love affair to remember (subject)
Blazing hope and joy (two things it is)
With so many memories, it sails the years (three things it does)
And never fades, never runs away
It's sunshine on a rainy day (a desciption)
A love affair to remember (subject)
I've tried to use the "-ay" and "-un" sounds in addition to alliteration and consonance to provide sonic links so that end-of-line rhymes are not needed.
How you've described music is exactly how it works for me, too. It does something to the brain that's very valuable for happy living. A recent personal example is 90dB's cover of my song "Brighter Than Any Star". Even though I wrote the music and lyrics, and sang it a hundred times (at least) during the creation process, when I heard Bob's version, images of my sons when they were children flooded my mind. Not once did that happen when I was creating the song. For me, it was a love song, nothing more. Bob's interpretation added a whole new dimension for me that was a unique blend of his performance and my experience. I was very grateful to him for bringing me those memories. So much so that I put the song on repeat and just let it play over and over so that I could relive the past a little bit. There's a lot yet to be learnt about music and its effect on the psyche. Regards, Noel P.S. Thank you for getting out your Bic lighter and gently applying pressure to Bob Noel and Charlie, Thank you both very much for adding your insightful comments. There is much to be learned from your observations. Tom
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I just love the melody and chords of the chorus!!! and the production is so super clean!
Great song! Gruve, Thanks for the nice review. We appreciate it. Tom
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Hello friends,
when it is expected the release of the 45s?
This is a great song that has nothing to envy the famous songs.
Very fine.
Hello.
Sergio
Sergio, thanks much! Tom
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Tom & Janice,
Wow, what a song! As y'all know, I have been out for most of the past several months. I almost missed this one. Boy am I glad Noel and Charlie "bumped" it back up to the top so I would hear it! Like everything about it. Sad story, well presented in an ironically upbeat bed of music. Janice, as usual, did an outstanding job on the vocals. And Tom, you lead guitar and steel guitar work is stellar! Great job on the lyrics.
Again, glad I got to hear it!
Steve
Steve Young Music"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann
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There are just so many songs in the showcase now, it makes it hard to keep up at times. What's really helpful is some members here have given recommendations of people to listen to for this or that. You sir, are one that has had repeated recommendations. At the recent advice of someone on here I'm sure we both admire and respect I started listening to MANY of your songs. This song, even more specifically, was recommended. I have to say, it's no mystery why. The comments before mine have covered things way better than I could. That being said, I personally love "driving" type of songs a lot. This has that feel all the way around. It's amazing to me that you could have that type of sound work so well with such a strong treatment of the lyrical subject. It works, because you know what to do. I wouldn't have tackled it, I can tell you that much. Very well done! Janice-"wow!" again. Her tone, timing and just overall delivery was what the song needed. The two of you blend REALLY well too! That chorus sounds SO good! Production...emphasis on PROduction. Enough said there  Now back to listening to your songs. If you have any you feel particularly strong about, or are proud of, please shoot me a PM. I would love to put emphasis on those. Great job again! I'm a fan!
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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