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The Wolf on Youtube It is with a little bit of trepidation that I post this song but I thought, what the heck, I am more than likely going to do a rewrite anyway and I sure you will give me some constructive criticism. A funny thing happened with my vocal on this one. I think the problem came in because I was not completely comfortable with the song before trying to record it. Also, having joined Dueling Mixes, I was messing around with my normal workflow. But the main thing was on the vocal was the “Dipthongs” (two sounds on one syllable) that I was doing. I suddenly started noticing them and they irritated me. So I tried to record not doing the “dipthongs” and the result was less than satisfactory. This is the first time this has happened to me since I started recording my stuff at the end of 2013. The song is another co-write with John C Gull, based on a true story and I like the lyrics. I think they could do with some sculpting. Any constructive feedback is much appreciated. Lyrics A helicopter in the sky Carries a hunter whose orders, wolves must die Ranchers want them out of state Killings happen at an unprecedented rate On the snow below he sees a pack He prepares to start his fateful attack Bullet strikes he hears the cry The snow below runs red with blood The snow is red with blood The snow runs red with blood A wounded wolf took off and ran Into the woods the hunter could not scan He told the pilot he must land He took a trail of blood to find the wolf’s last stand When he came to the place he realized That all he’d heard was a just pack of lies Just a web of lies Tissue of lies He put the wolf out of his pain Dug a grave and put him out of the snow and rain He cursed and smashed his gun against a tree He cried for lost humanity He had learned to expect an attack A wounded wolf will always fight back But the wolf did not attack The wolf did not fight back When we kill their natural prey How can we blame them when they stray? Help us save the forest that they grace Let them have their space help us save the forest that they grace Realtracks: Bass: 1759 Drums: Nashville Even 16 Shaker loop Guitars: 378, 833, 832,1032 Cello 1856 PS: Guenter - here is the link on dropbox for you The Wolf on Dropbox for Guenter
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First I quite liked the overall song. Listened twice and really can't find an issue with the vocals they fit the song really well.
As far as constructive feedback I like the way you sing the 3rd last line sounds on each verse - perhaps if you swapped the melody of the 3rd last with the last line for more of a build up?
The song has a nice folk feel - perhaps an hammond organ rather than the electric guitar? (purely a matter of taste).
Anyway I've now heard it 3 times and it is growing on me.
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Hi Josie. I never thought I would hear the word helicopter in a folk song.
Great tune.
Rob
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Strong song, strong lyrics, very nice vocal and performance. Enjoyed the video.
Kenny
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First I quite liked the overall song. Listened twice and really can't find an issue with the vocals they fit the song really well.
As far as constructive feedback I like the way you sing the 3rd last line sounds on each verse - perhaps if you swapped the melody of the 3rd last with the last line for more of a build up?
The song has a nice folk feel - perhaps an hammond organ rather than the electric guitar? (purely a matter of taste).
Anyway I've now heard it 3 times and it is growing on me. Hi peter Thanks for this. I think the way I am singing the third last line is one of the things that is irritating me about the song so I will mess about with it when I rerecord.
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Hi Josie. I never thought I would hear the word helicopter in a folk song.
Great tune.
Rob Ha ha rob! That is funny. I tried to find another word for helicopter and still retain the story but whirly bird and chopper sounded worse!
Last edited by JosieC; 09/12/15 02:36 AM.
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Strong song, strong lyrics, very nice vocal and performance. Enjoyed the video.
Kenny Kenny, thanks very much. The video was the easy part...I am not sure why I had such a fight with this song!
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Strong imagery in the lyrics and you created the right music that match and build on the emotion the words convey. I thought your vocals sounded ok but I know too well the feeling that I have when I'm not satisfied with how my phrasing and voice sounds in a song so I feel for you. You'll get it. Probably sooner than later. ;=)
Charlie
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Hi Joanne,
unfortunately the video can't be
watched in Germany.
Guenter
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Hi Joanne,
unfortunately the video can't be
watched in Germany.
Guenter Hey guenter. There is a link at the bottom of the op for you
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Joanne, I had 2 tabs open and I was poised to write here when I was blown away by the hard rock intro and thought SHE'S CRACKED so I sped to the other tab and saw it was an advert for perfume stuff. Phew....so I pressed play and all returned to normal. My poor heart  (First play of a song with a video is always without looking at the video so I get a feel for the song) I think the way I am singing the third last line is one of the things that is irritating me about the song so I will mess about with it when I rerecord. I sang that 3rd from last line with you  and thought substitute "let them" for a mmmm. So's the line goes "mmmm ha-ave their space". Maybe with some Josie C harmonies to emphasise and to be the "main vocal". enjoyed as usual, I do like your voice! Alyn He cried for lost humanity
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Joanne,
You put a lot of energy in this - you sing it like you mean it. (and I thought the vocal was fine).
Nice instrumentation.
floyd
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I can't comment on issues of vocal performance but I like the song, and again find your work speaking for animals that cannot speak very touching.
You could try:
A helicopter in the sky --> A searching plane up in the sky
Someday you will have worked through to your satisfaction an album's worth of animal advocacy songs, that will reach people emotionally rather then pedantically or preachy, and it will be something to share with many more people.
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Hi Joanne,
what a service! Thanks a lot for the link.
I'm glad I didn't miss it.
Have no problems with the vocals.
Enjoyed the song and the video.
Guenter
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Strong imagery in the lyrics and you created the right music that match and build on the emotion the words convey. I thought your vocals sounded ok but I know too well the feeling that I have when I'm not satisfied with how my phrasing and voice sounds in a song so I feel for you. You'll get it. Probably sooner than later. ;=)
Charlie Hi Charlie. Thanks for this. I think this one will definitely get some rework. I think you are right when we know instinctively that the vocal could be better. As said though, I don't know what is going on in my head because the dipthongs have never bothered me before. I dont know whether it s a good or bad sign! I guess instead of being depressed about my voice I should just thank my lucky stars for it....maybe I need to give it a bit of a break! Joanne, I had 2 tabs open and I was poised to write here when I was blown away by the hard rock intro and thought SHE'S CRACKED so I sped to the other tab and saw it was an advert for perfume stuff. Phew....so I pressed play and all returned to normal. My poor heart (First play of a song with a video is always without looking at the video so I get a feel for the song) I think the way I am singing the third last line is one of the things that is irritating me about the song so I will mess about with it when I rerecord. I sang that 3rd from last line with you and thought substitute "let them" for a mmmm. So's the line goes "mmmm ha-ave their space". Maybe with some Josie C harmonies to emphasise and to be the "main vocal". enjoyed as usual, I do like your voice! Alyn He cried for lost humanity Ha ha! Alyn that is classic! I did some harmonies...but in my state of mind I didn't think they were much good so turned them right down so you can hardly hear them. Maybe when I get back from my trip my head will be in a better state! Joanne,
You put a lot of energy in this - you sing it like you mean it. (and I thought the vocal was fine).
Nice instrumentation.
floyd
AH, Floyd, thanks so much. If you think the vocal is fine that says a lot I can't comment on issues of vocal performance but I like the song, and again find your work speaking for animals that cannot speak very touching.
You could try:
A helicopter in the sky --> A searching plane up in the sky
Someday you will have worked through to your satisfaction an album's worth of animal advocacy songs, that will reach people emotionally rather then pedantically or preachy, and it will be something to share with many more people.
Hi MWG. Thanks for the suggestion. I am just a bit worried that they wouldn't actually conduct a hunt from a plane. I was asked to write this song for a wildlife park. I do hope it is not too preachy. Am still trying to get the album of rhino songs on the go.
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Hi Joanne,
what a service! Thanks a lot for the link.
I'm glad I didn't miss it.
Have no problems with the vocals.
Enjoyed the song and the video.
Guenter Thanks Guenter. Sorry the link was hidden at the bottom of the post. Will put it near the top next time
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Really thoughtful and beautiful song Joanne!! I thought the vocals were wonderful-love the back and forth-almost hypnotic. Cello worked great. Really well done all the way around! Take care. Greg
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wow this is beautiful! And the vocals are lovely!
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first I like the guitar strumming that opens the song, which one is it?
and the cello as well
overall a solid write and good song
thanks for sharing
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Very nice Joanne. A ton
of conviction in your vocal.
Janice and I have donated
to USA wolf causes for years
so this song is particularly
close to us.
Thank you for writing and
producing this!
J&B
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