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Paul, if I show this to my wife I am going to lose 3 hours right in the middle of my day. I got the same vibe from the lyrics. But in a rare display on tact on my part, I wasn't going to mention anything. After all, it's between married consenting adults. Just enjoy it before that honey-tinged massage oil becomes BENGAY®.  This also reminds me of a number of praise songs I've heard where the "alternate" reading is rather... unfortunate.
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Dave, There are just SO many directions I could take this, but I am hitting a brick wall at every turn. Wrong forum. Back to the wife!!! 
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Journeyman
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I wrote this song aimed at myself. I got to thinking how you could go about making this message less direct, and "The Gambler" came to mind - in that song, instead of the singer talking to the listener, it was a character talking to a singer. So a different approach would be to have the singer getting advice from a mechanic - "I don't know anything about love, but I know about fixing stuff..." sort of conceit, with the listener being able to make the jump between fixing rusty bolts and a relationship. I don't know that it would be a better - I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the direct approach - just saying it's a slightly different way to approach it. You'd have to waste at least one verse on the setup, so it's certainly not as efficient. You've given me something to think about that I had never thought of before. Thank you for your suggestions and tips.
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CHORUS Love your Wife - like penetrating oil Soak her in your love - every day As it penetrates - to the hardest place Wait for your breakthrough - and pray for grace Love your Wife - like penetrating oil Paul, if I show this to my wife I am going to lose 3 hours right in the middle of my day. Oh heck, why not. You've brought a sexual element into a song that never entered my head! Is that how people are "reading" this song? If so I have a BIG problem to fix!!
Last edited by Paul Haynes; 08/05/18 11:05 PM.
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Paul, It was very subtle. Other subtle songs in this vein include Little Red Corvette by Prince, Sexual Healing, by Marvin Gaye,and Sex Machine by James Brown. So, I wouldn't worry about it man. No one will catch on. Seriously though, good song!!!
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Enjoy this one Paul, you did a good job on the vocals, seems to be in the perfect center. CLiff
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Enjoy this one Paul, you did a good job on the vocals, seems to be in the perfect center. CLiff Thank you Cliff
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Paul, I agree with Mario all the way on this. It is a catchy tune and your vocal is outstanding on it! I would also love to hear what it would sound like with some harmony in the vocals in places but as you said were never done with our tunes. You’ve done excellent work here so far! Thanks, Torrey
Last edited by Torrey Bliss; 08/20/18 04:35 AM.
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Paul, I agree with Merrio all the way on this. It is a catchy tune and your vocal is outstanding on it! I would also love to hear what it would sound like with some harmony in the vocals in places but as you said were never done with our tunes. You’ve done excellent work here so far! Thanks, Torrey Hi Torney Many thanks for your kind words. I started to rewrite the words from the position of talking about a man and his story as one suggested they were not keen on the “preachy” type of songwriting. I’m still thinking about that one. Also as some have read into my song a sexual connotation I’ve started to rewrite the words to remove all possibility of that being so, but it has changed the song somewhat which is a shame. However I broke my fibula just over a week ago and now can’t get around easily and especially not into my office where its a bit tricky. That all said, when i get back to editing I will continue where I left off. I would like to add a piano to pad some chords and I would like to add harmony as you suggested so it certainly is not a finished song yet. I’ll report back in the future with an update when I can. God bless, Paul
Last edited by Paul Haynes; 08/20/18 04:17 AM.
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