PG Music Home Forums General Discussion Songwriting Lyrics you wish you had written

Howdy, folks...

Are there lyrics for songs that you've heard, that you wish you had been the author/authoress of?

If so, why don't you post them, pretty-please, and accompany the post with a little information about why you are so enamoured of the lyrics, what it was about them that delighted and inspired you so???

May I start things off? I can? Gee, thanks, folks!

Here is a set of lyrics that I wish I had written (truth be told, I wish I had composed the song, too!) The music and lyrics were composed for a film titled, The Long Goodbye, which premiered in the year 1973 and was directed by the late Robert Altman, who adapted a detective novel of the same name written by that famous author of detective fiction, Raymond Chandler, his most famous character being Philip Marlowe.

The Long Goodbye / Music by John Williams (yes, that's right, people, the man who composed the score for "Star Wars" / Lyrics by Johnny Mercer

There’s a long goodbye.
And it happens everyday
When some passerby
Invites your eye
To come her way

Even as she smiles
A quick hello,
You’ve let her go.
You’ve let the moment fly

Too late you turn your head,
You know you’ve said
The long goodbye

Can you recognize the pain?
On some other street
Two people meet
As in a dream

Running for a plane
Through the rain
If the heart is quicker than the eye,
They could be lovers
Until they die

It’s too late to try
When a missed hello
Becomes the long goodbye
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now, I'm gonna make this quick. How many of you in your lives have shared a possibly mutually interested romantic glance with a man/woman that you blew, messed up, lost, dropped the ball on, because you were 1) too shy 2) too high, or 3) too married?

Regardless of the circumstance, those kinds of missed moments hurt like a toothache because we never stop kicking ourselves internally for not pursuing the opportunity to take quick, decisive action on what could have turned out to be the "love connection" of a life-time.

And that, basically, is why I wish I had written those lyrics, because of the fact that they do so achingly and truthfully describe the emotional, hopeful potency of that lost moment with an immediate and stunning precision. You feel these lyrics deeply because you've lived them.

Here's a link to a YouTube video featuring the song being sung by the great jazz trumpeter/vocalist Jack Sheldon as it was heard in the film and on the film's soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG0ykzh47q8

If you care to hear a woman interpret the lyrics, here is another link to Ms. Clydie King singing "The Long Goodbye", also as heard in the film and on the soundtrack recording: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-N2BZMvj4

Thanks for your attention, folks! All right, now! Who's next? Give it up! Show us "the money"!!!

LOREN (a.k.a. "bluage")

Thank you for posting this Bluage. Yes, truly beautiful and heart wrenching and I dare say most of us can relate to this. It rings so true, possibilities that could have been but never were. This year for me has been one of reckoning as I finally became aware of a beautiful soul who passed and I thought I would hear from again at least one more time in this world. However, in a very unusual dream I became aware of this passing and looked it up on the internet as no one of the family knows me. And oh, did it bring up memories and possibilities that didn't, couldn't happen here. But what still remains is the unquestioning love that's still alive, truly awesome and a long goodbye that's still on going. The goodbye you don't want to end. I said good bye many years ago and it never would end. Love can be a very beautiful thing that has a life of it's own. That's why I love lyrics so much, they touch me almost more than music, but the combination can be heavenly when the vocal expressions and musical interpretations take it to the next level.

Very interesting - I've actually never had this thought. I've heard lyrics that stunned me and really made me stop and think, but I always appreciated the writer more so than thinking about myself writing it. An interesting thought for sure.

Dear Deryk...

The launching of this thread was inspired by the jazz pianist/composer/vocalist Dave Frishberg, who once stated that he wished he had composed the old Christmas season evergreen song, "Baby, It's Cold Outside", by Frank Loesser.

I just thought it was "neat" to read about a successful songwriter paying tribute to another songwriter in a way that just very narrowly skirts around the issue of professional envy, so, I decided to try out the idea on this forum.

Thanks for responding, Deryk! If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope it will be a relaxing and enjoyable one!

Sincerely,

LOREN

Ms. Belladonna...

Referencing my quotation, mind my is filled with excited thoughts about the content and subtext of what you wrote. I think that, for you, lyrics are the music! Contemplating that thought causes me to wish I could be inside your head and your heart when you give birth to lyrics. I would like to know what the "music of words" sound like at the moment of their creation...

Personally, the lyrics I write for my songs come from I-don't-know-where. I mean it !!! I don't know where they come from. 99.9999 percent of them are not the result of premeditation. They just...show up, like a crowd of unwanted visitors leaning too heavily on my doorbell. Ding-dong. Ding-dong-ding-dong-ding-dong! Ding-ding-ding-ding-dong! "You-hoo! Ohhhh, Looorrr-en! May we come in and run around in your mind until you find something for us to do"???

In fact, I feel sometimes that deceased songwriters are using me to pursue a posthumous career . That's a kooky thought, now, ain't it?!

Intrigued,

LOREN

I wish I has written the Lyrics to 'Song 2' by Blur...

My whole life changed when I heard Jungleland for the first time.

I was in a state of awe.

I still am.

I pulled over to the side of the road in my Mustang to listen to it.

When it was over, the radio announcer said:

"9 minutes and 38 seconds of magic, from Bruce Springsteen."

Yes, and I will never be the same.

Reason?

It's like a Shakespeare play. The first time I had ever heard a real poem and a play set to music in 10 minutes.

It is probably the most brilliant piece of original cinematic songwriting I have ever heard, and I don't think anything else is on the same planet with it.




Jungleland

Bruce Springsteen

The Rangers had a homecoming
In Harlem late last night
And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine
Over the Jersey state line
Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge
Drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain
The Rat pulls into town, rolls up his pants
Together they take a stab at romance
And disappear down Flamingo Lane
Well, the Maximum Lawmen run down Flamingo
Chasing the Rat and the barefoot girl
And the kids 'round there live just like shadows
Always quiet, holding hands
From the churches to the jails
Tonight all is silence in the world
As we take our stand
Down in Jungleland
The midnight gang's assembled
And picked a rendezvous for the night
They'll meet 'neath that giant Exxon sign
That brings this fair city light
Man, there's an opera out on the Turnpike
There's a ballet being fought out in the alley
Until the local cops, Cherry-Tops, rips this holy night
The street's alive as secret debts are paid
Contacts made, they flash unseen
Kids flash guitars just like switchblades
Hustling for the record machine
The hungry and the hunted
Explode into rock 'n' roll bands
That face off against each other out in the street
Down in Jungleland
In the parking lot the visionaries dress in the latest rage
Inside the backstreet girls are dancing
To the records that the DJ plays
Lonely-hearted lovers struggle in dark corners
Desperate as the night moves on
Just one look and a whisper, and they're gone
Beneath the city, two hearts beat
Soul engines running through a night so tender
In a bedroom locked in whispers
Of soft refusal and then surrender
In the tunnels uptown, the Rat's own dream guns him down
As shots echo down them hallways in the night
No one watches when the ambulance pulls away
Or as the girl shuts out the bedroom light
Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz
Between what's flesh and what's fantasy
And the poets down here don't write nothing at all
They just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of a knife, they reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand
But they wind up wounded, not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland

Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen
Jungleland lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing

Got to agree with David on Bruce Springsteen. Especially his early stuff. Jungle Land, Born to Run, 4th of July.... yeah ...


But on a more modern groove.....





and....





yeah....I'd love to have written these 2 modern songs.

Mr. David Snyder...

Thank you for participating in my first songwriting thread post!

Would it be possible for you to post the lyrics, and maybe offer just a little of the reasons for your awesome reverence for the song?

Thank you, sir!

Sincerely,

LOREN

Hey, there, Mikke!

Thanks for joining the thread! Do you think you could post the lyrics, and tell us why you wish you had written those lyrics?

Thanks, again!

LOREN

Hey Bluage, Absolutely.

First of, I love the flow of the song. A great example of lyrical flow.

The lyrics can mean nothing, or everything. They are completely subjective.

Second, It is a Globally recognized song, which spent a long time on the top of the charts, and the album went platinum.

Now, you can simply say "Oh, that Woo-Hoo song!"

A great example of how lyrics are only as powerful as they are perceived, something that may on paper seem like nothing, became a music phenomenon.

"Guitarhacker"...

Thank you for contributing to my first songwriting thread!

I did not listen to country music closely, and for pure enjoyment, until I began visiting the User's Forum back in 2009. But since then, I can tell you that I've grown to appreciate it, and plan on making a contribution in that genre in the User's Forum someday.

In a comment I posted about "Bud" & Ms. Janice's song, "I Choose to Be with You", I told them that I thought I had finally come to understand what the appeal of country music might be for those who are dedicated listeners, and that is, that the music has a simplicity of expression, and an emotional directness, that is irresistibly appealing.

Would you say that's true?

LOREN

Mikke...

That's an incredibly interesting response, meaning the idea you offered about the audience's perception of the lyrics being entirely subjective. I've always believed, very generally speaking, that lyrics were more interesting and impactful, when they described something concrete, observable, and that could be easily validated, emotionally speaking, by a listener.

I hoped I would get interesting and unexpected responses when I posted this thread, and you have fulfilled my expectations! I will look for the song on YouTube.

Thanks, Mikke!

LOREN

"Something In The Way She Moves" (James Taylor)

Something in the way she moves, or looks my way, or calls my name
That seems to leave this troubled world behind
And if I'm feeling down and blue or troubled by some foolish game
She always seems to make me change my mind..

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost all the time
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
And I find myself careening in places where I should not let me go
She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me
Of the happiness and the good times that I know, and then I just got to go there.

It isn't what she's got to say but how she thinks and where she's been
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound
I like to hear them best that way, it doesn't much matter what they mean
She says them mostly just to calm me down

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost all the time
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine


This lyric was a comfort to me when I lost my mother at a young age. It's taken on a new meaning now having a wife to whom English is a second language and with whom communication is sometimes a sweet struggle.

<i>It isn't what she's got to say but how she thinks and where she's been
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound
I like to hear them best that way, it doesn't much matter what they mean
She says them mostly just to calm me down</i>


I've also though of my guitar, at times, as the "she" in that lyric.

Like was said earlier, these don't read like epic poetry, but without a wasted syllable, are delivered naturally with grace. That makes a great lyric.

I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

I like the feel of your name on my lips
and I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss.
The way that your fingers run through my hair,
and how your scent lingers even when you're not there.

And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh,
and how you enjoy your two hour bath.
And how you convinced me to dance in the rain
with everyone watching like we were insane.

But I love the way you love me.
Strong and wild, slow and easy.
Heart and soul, so completely.
I love the way you love me.

I like to imitate ol' Jerry Lee
an' watch you roll your eyes when I'm slightly off-key.
And I like the innocent way that you cry
at sappy old movies you've seen hundreds of times

But I love the way you love me.
Strong and wild, slow and easy.
Heart and soul, so completely.
I love the way you love me.

And I could list a million things I love to like about you,
but they all come down to one reason I could never live without you.

But I love the way you love me.
Strong and wild, slow and easy.
Heart and soul, so completely.
I love the way you love me.

©1992 Victoria Shaw and Chuck Cannon



A perfect love song.
Touching images. Sweet without being syrupy.
Every line is good. Familiar yet original, fresh...
So relatable.
It makes you want to fall in love all over again.

Tangmo - good choice. This was our wedding song (40+ years ago). I sang it on tape (we had one of the old, big TEAC machines to play it on)

Howdy, "Tangmo"...

Thanks for adding your own thread into my first songwriting thread!

First thing is, I'm deeply sorry to read that you lost your mother at a young age. I can't imagine -- and would be afraid to imagine -- what that was like. I truly hope that whatever memories you may have about her bring you pleasure and solace.

Concerning your lyrics-that-I wish-I-had-written selection, boy-oh-boy, it ain't difficult for me to understand why they resonate with you so, even apart from your stated reason concerning your memory of your mother.

First of all, the subject of Mr. Taylor's lyrics (if not himself) seems to describe a particular, perhaps living person, even, for whom he had strong feelings of love and respect. Truth be told, the lyrics imply that the subject may have lived through some sort of trauma that was soothed and possibly cured by the loving attention he received from the individual he wrote about in such a praiseworthy manner:

"And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost all the time
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine"

Again, the poor subject of the song sounds like he may have "fallen through the cracks" of life in perhaps some tragic way: an accident? A nervous and/or mental breakdown? A veteran of a war who returned home broken in spirit, or just as worse, physically wounded?

"Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
And I find myself careening in places where I should not let me go
She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me
Of the happiness and the good times that I know, and then I just got to go then"

The man appears to have lost something that has impaired his ability just to survive, even -- or, so I believe. And then, in a moment of wellness of that provides clarity, and the gift of sweet recognition and appreciation of the profound blessings he has received in the form of the person who came to his rescue, he reveals his loving thankfulness:

"And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost all the time
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine"

Of course, what you've read is my own "take" of the meaning of the lyrics, so feel free, "Tangmo", to disagree, debate and deconstruct what I've written. Regardless, "Something In The Way She Moves" by James Taylor projects lyrics that are powerful, powerfully intimate, that is, if you've known the kind of pain, and also the kind of healing, transformative loving that his sensitive heart testified to in the song.

Thanks again, "Tangmo", for the richly rewarding song lyric selection you posted!

Gratefully,

LOREN

P.S. Concerning your statement that the lyrics don't read like "epic" poetry, all I can say to that is, "epic" poetry is for "epic" egos, and Mr. Taylor surely seems to have dispossessed himself of such lofty, mostly unattainable, and hardly-worth-pursuing goals.

Just edited my OP

Uh-oh, the illustrious Floyd Jane has joined the thread! Mr. Jane, there's coffee and donuts at the table. If you smoke, there's a door to your left that'll take you outside where you can light-up and smoke 'til ya' choke!

Thanks for dropping by, sir!

Happy for your presence,

LOREN

Thank you, sir!

LOREN