In addition to the BIAB tracks above, I added the following:
Midi drum track in Superior Drummer Midi bass track in Trilian Keys (ethereal) track using Ethereal Earth in Kontakt Keys (carnival) track using Kinetic Toys Carnival in Kontakt Acoustic gypsy jazz guitar strumming track Adjustments to the BIAB guitar track (and played over the top of it to make it sound more authentic)
=========================== VIDEO:
Me in my closet with a video overlay of a carousel near the Eiffel Tower. =========================== LYRICS:
Draft 6
Send me a lover, send her tonight-- restless deeds, candy bowl full of lies Take my hands, fold them hard so they pray I won’t go down to a darkened grave
Won’t you take me to paradise Soil in my heart but there’s fuel in my veins I want to burn with you tonight I want to burn in your paradise
Grim marginalia--all these letters I write Shaky time capsules--words frozen in flight These worn yellow pages with their torn paper smiles Caramelized wishes and crushed china dolls.
Won’t you take me to paradise Soil in my heart but there’s fuel in my veins I want to burn with you tonight I want to burn in your paradise
Lime and gin, now we’re both dining thin, eat that slaughtered meat of Christ’s broken limbs See that b*tch of a sun, she’s sliding forward to greet a new day of sins played out in the street
Won’t you take me to paradise Soil in my heart but there’s fuel in my veins I want to burn with you tonight I want to burn in your paradise
Won’t you take me to paradise Soil in my heart but there’s fuel in my veins I want to burn with you tonight I want to burn in your paradise
I'm probably corny, I know but, I did want to hear a little fairground/merry go round twinkling with the melody a little more clearly just here n there. Part Tom Waites, Part Richard Hawley all very good. There's the occasional phrasing spot that I'd tweak but that's me. I'd also like a solo with a little aggression or bite just for a moment so that the ignition and the extinguishing were represented. VERY cool.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Very nice, Todd. I'm sure the echos of Tom Waits are no accident (love that bit of growl in your vocal) and personally I think the song would be even better with a hint of discord, as per much of his later work. But if smooth is what you were going for, you nailed it. Much enjoyed. Regards, Leon
Very nice song! The video is a bit quirky, but it fitted with song in a strange and unexpected way.
I love this part of your lyrics:
I want to burn with you tonight I want to burn in your paradise
Well written! Will
Hey, Will. I'm glad you like those parts of the lyric. Yeah, the video is pretty quirky. I had an hour deadline before my video/song was due for my songwriting group, and this was my quick 30 min attempt at something to turn in. I ended up liking it though in all its weirdness. I imagine if I actually released this song, I'd have a better, more thought-out video. Thanks so much for listening and for your comments.
And to all the fascinating aspects we’ll add kudos for all the creativity!
J&B
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Good song and performance, with fascinating lyrics. Love the Tom Waits influence. The best comment so far: "Reminds me of Tom Waits meets Cirque du Solei in a French cafe" (from Guitarhacker). Cheers, Mike
I'm probably corny, I know but, I did want to hear a little fairground/merry go round twinkling with the melody a little more clearly just here n there. Part Tom Waites, Part Richard Hawley all very good. There's the occasional phrasing spot that I'd tweak but that's me. I'd also like a solo with a little aggression or bite just for a moment so that the ignition and the extinguishing were represented. VERY cool.
Thanks so much, Ray, for your kind words. I've definitely thought about putting more of the fairground/merry go round music in there. I'll give that a try and see how it turns out.
Tom Waits came to mind when I was writing this--and obviously there is something of him in this particular voice I'm using. I hadn't heard of Richard Hawley though, and I'm thankful for you putting me onto him. I've been listening to him throughout the day and really enjoy his music.
I also felt like some of the phrasing needs to be tweaked. Some places my Tom Waitsy voice breaks into a different voice.
I also like your suggestion of a solo. I'll see what I come up with.
Thanks again for listening and for all your wonderful suggestions.
Your lyric "process" produces vivid, interesting phrases and lines. I like it.
The music is well put together and nicely balanced. I thought the accordion could have been slightly louder.
Good vocal. Beefy and warm.
As Ray says, there is a (early) Tom Waits-ness to this (a good thing) - though a much better vocal
Cool stuff.
fj
Hey, FJ. Thanks for giving my song a listen and for your kind words.
Yes, the translitic process can yield some interesting images and phrases. Sometimes they are jarring, but often they are nice and fresh and interesting. The trick is to smooth them out a bit with the revisions while not losing the immediacy and discovery they contribute to the song.
I'll give that a try--making the accordion louder--and see how it sounds. Thanks for that suggestion.
I'm happy you heard an early Tom Waits in my song. I really like him--his early stuff especially.
A wonderful song, and so well sung. I like the carousel feel and sound, and agree it could be a bit louder in the mix. Still, subtle works well, too.
Thanks, Marty, for your kind words. When I re-record and remix, I'll up the levels on the carousel music and see how that sounds. Thanks again! Cheers, Todd
Very nice, Todd. I'm sure the echos of Tom Waits are no accident (love that bit of growl in your vocal) and personally I think the song would be even better with a hint of discord, as per much of his later work. But if smooth is what you were going for, you nailed it. Much enjoyed. Regards, Leon
Thanks so much, Leon. I appreciate it. Yeah, as I put the music together, it reminded me of Tom Waits, so naturally that came out in my voice and words. I'll definitely give Waits's later work a new listen and think about discord and adding some. Thanks again! Cheers, Todd
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