PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Coming Home, a Blues / Swing song with sax

Hello everyone,

This is something different from what you might know from me.
It is a song with a sphere from the 50's with the use of an alt sax.
The story is about broken promises in a military setting: https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/coming-home.

I am sure I haven't watched too much Netflix series when writing this song. It was written in 2017, but I didn't know what kind of melody it needed (something with a military sound?), so it stayed 'on the shelf of unfinished projects'. Until this month. When you start listening you hear some humming and creaks. Nothing wrong with your device. I did this intentionaly on my keyboard.
The background vocals I made with the help of Melodyne, but one track I sang myself, like the leadvocals.

I hope you like it, in spite of the topic.
Hans

===========================
Instruments

Style:_TREVINO.STY, Key C, Tempo: 110 bpm

RealTracks: ~1845: Bas, Elec, Country Boogie A-B Sw 110
RealTracks: ~ 952: Guitar, Ac. Country Boogie Open Sw 110
RealTracks: 1553: Guitar, Elec, Country Swing Gritty Strum Sw 110
RealTracks: 2715: Guitar, Nylon, Swing Brent Sw 110
RealTracks: 1146: Fiddle, Country Swing Sw 110
RealTracks: 1953: Sax, Alt, Texas BluesRock ShuffleMark Sw 130
RealDrums : NashvilleSwing8^2-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

==========================
Lyrics
Coming home
(c) Hans Berkhout, sept. 23 2020

Early one morning I received my post
It contained an official letter
That ordered me to go to a place
somewhere far abroad
While reading it, it gave me a shock
I hadn't expect this at all

Oh, this aint me, It's not true
I could not believe this was real, but

I'm coming home
That's what they promised, and
I won't be alone
That I believed in

Within a while  I flew some days
to a hazardous place
And they assured me  it really was save
I never had to leave our base
There we stayed, just in case
some bad guys wanted a fight

Ohh, this aint me, It's not true
I could not believe this was real, but

I'm coming home
That's what they promised, and
I won't be alone
That I believed in

=solo=

I'm coming home
That's what they promised, and
I won't be alone
That I believed in
I'm coming home, I know
But do I still believe it?

But anyway, all things went wrong
The enemy fired their guns
We faced a lot of casualties
And finally got overrun
I ran away, hide myself
Inside a little cave

Oh no, this aint me, It's not true
I could not believe this was real, but

I'm coming home
That's what they promised
I won't be alone
That I believed in
I'm coming home, I know
But I have some doubts

I'm coming home
That's what they told us
I'm coming home
Who can hear me?

I won't be alone
That I believed in
I'm coming home
That's what they promised
I'm coming home
Oh lord, I can see you
I'm coming home...

Really cool, Hans. Love how when it comes in with chorus (I'm coming home) you bring in a wonderful traveling feeling with a walking bass. A fun song!!

Hans,

The BAND is very good. Well mixed. The sax sounds good.

A very interesting perspective in the lyric. I wasn't sure about his doubt in the end - about himself? about war? about military service?

A dramatic vocal.

fj

Very cool backtrack. Loved the intro. Super vocal. Very cool chorus. Well done Hans

Some splendid ambiguity in the lyric. Your high-eq'd vocal is maybe even more "at home" in this kind of piece, given the old=record vibe. The band works well and the sax solo is very effective.

Musically interesting; not sure what to make of the introduction, through.

The ending is a bit ambiguous. Do I take the "Oh lord, I can see you" literally (he's dying) or just adding emphasis to his wishful thinking?

Oh lord, I can see you
I'm coming home...

It works either way.

Works for me, Hans, I like the feel and really like your vocal in this one.

Nice!

Hi Marty, thanks for your nice comment on the song! I was only a bit puzzled about the term 'walking bass'. I thought the bass stood right in the middle and didn't move one foot. And I love your conclusion on the song "fun song". I wasn't aware the song had this in it.



Hi Floyd, thanks for listening and your remarks on the song. I appreciate this!
About the perspective: The person believed those promises he would come home (safe), but then looses this because of the events happening. In his hiding place doubts came. And then he realized he was lost. That is when I sing about 'Oh lord I can see you'. So finally he dies and comes home to his God.

Hans

Really nice work on this, Hans Really well produced, and the chorus is catchy and memorable. Thanks for sharing!

Hans,

The commitment and energy of your vocal carries the story through... by the ending "coming home" there`s a surprisingly good feeling!
I like the contrast of the swing style band with the soldier`s life lessons in the lyrics.

Robert

We liked everything about this.

Great vocal.

Great band ( I, Bud, used to play a lot of walking bass so it was nice to hear it)

Great write. The slight ambiguity here and there adds to the story.

And a mix that sounds excellent on our monitors.

Well done!

J&B

Hello Birchwood,

I love the sax. The atmosphere of the 50s can be found there. The lyrics with your voice fit perfectly into the arrangement you propose. Well done.

Kindly regard

alias JaniJackFlash

Love songs with a great message.
This one tells the story very well.

Great arrangement.

Based on the lyrics, I was expecting a psychedelic rock song with gospel choir in the end, so the used style was bit surprising. Maybe my mind was in Vietnam. But very good story with a nice ending. Good arrangement closer to the World War II atmosphere, I enjoyed your softer singing and the way you bring gospel in your background vocals.

Janne

Hans,
Sad, he did not make it, the good part is that vocals sit very comfortably in the mix
Unusual tune with some very intricate articulations. Solid composition. The only distraction to my taste was the fiddle. Interesting listen! Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

A really nice backing and melody.
there're some problems with the grammar/syntax of the lyric that doesn't seem to bother anyone...they did grab my attention though.
There's ambiguity in the lyric which is cool but there're a few spots that don't sem to flow in terms of a consistent narrative.
Nevertheless, it's a thoughtful and brave song.

Hi all,

Sorry for the delay in answering, I had some healt issues, but I'm back now!
And 'wow'! I just saw I am promoted to 'expert'! We have to celebrate that! I will come with a Dutch song within some days, ok?



Hi Scott, Thanks for your nice remarks. Did you have any problems with the fiddle in it, or not?



Hi Tangmo, do I read 'high eq' again? I had hoped I solved this, but anyway I am glad you liked the sound of the song. Thanks for the compliments.



Hello Dave, the way you make your compliments is very nice, but also gives me a 'double' feeling, if you know what I mean. And I missed your 'like' on SoundCloud ;-)



Hi David, Thanks for reading the lyrics well! As I wrote to Floyd too, this person will finally die in the end. When he saw his lord appearing he ended with "I'm coming home".
And with what you say about being not sure what the introduction implies, it was my idea to make a melody with aspecs of the 50's, like the swing and the sax. In that perspective an old recordplayer was a nice thing to add in too.
But there is also a relation between the melody and the lyrics; "Coming Home" is a promise from all times given to or from people going to war. I symbolized that in this manner. 'They' is the government or military.



Hi Derryk, welcome back (to me)! I missed you for some time. And thanks for your nice words!

Have a nice day.
Hans

I felt like there was a whole lot of plot for one little song to handle. Left me with many questions about what actually happened. But a good song nonetheless and your usual quality musicianship shone throughout.

Hi Robert, Janice and Bud, Dero13, CaptainMoto and Jannesan,

Thanks a lot for your listen to this song and kind reactions.
I will also answer briefly (!) to your personal reactions;



Hi Robert, what you wrote is broadly what I meant this song. A contrast in lyrics and melody and a recognizable story. However, it is nice to read what questions raise about the story. Like what you said about 'a surprisingly good feeling' while he is going to his God. Help me understand this, Robert. Ps; I scan all my new lyrics now in the way you told me to do. Was of great help!



Well Bud, your compliments make this sounds like a great song! Gave me a sunny feeling and that's a good thing in my rainy, cold country!
I didn't know what a 'walking bass' was, so I looked it up. When I read the explanation I said "oh, that's what it meant". with other words, I knew it all the time, but not that it was called like this in English. And what nice to read you played it many times. Don't tell me you don't play anymore...




Hi Dero Jack Flash, I am glad you liked it in this style. It took me a while to get used to it myself. I seldom use a sax and the swing style, but here it was needed to symbolize these promises are/were given always and in all times to soldiers and seldom kept (for whatever reason).



Hello Captain, with your rank I am sure you understood the message!



Hi Janne, I got sad when reading how much you were dissapointed by the melody. But seriously, when I made the contours for this song, back in 2017, I had a complete different style in my head with electric guitars and a straight going melody. But hat was missing the point I wanted to make (see my answer to Dero in this post). And for the location I had places like Iraq or Afghanistan in mind(!), but the location doesn't matter. It's the big picture that counts.
By the way, is your artistname Popfinger? He started following me on SoundCloud and I listened to a couple of songs from him. he is from Finland and his vocals sound just like yours. I bet it is you!

Stay safe everyone,
Hans

Hi Misha, probably he didn't make it. It's not quite sure yet, but it looks bad, that's true.
And I was a bit surprised you called the fiddle a distraction. I was convinced you would like it. I added it because of you (no, joke). I liked it myself. The sax and the swinging melody were the contrast to the story, the fiddle not.
Thanks for your comment!



Hi Ray, Thanks for your compliments, but (like my answer to Misha) I was a bit surprised you brought up a narrative issue. To me there wasn't any. It's all from the perspective of the soldier. It is his story; how it started (the letter), what they (the government) promised, what happend (the fight and capture of the base and he hiding) and the end (losing his faith, coming home). To me this is alright in that narrative way. But let me know where you think where that ambiguity occurs. It is more your language than mine and I like to learn.



Hi TuneMonger, thanks for yur compliments as wel! But I disagree with you on the scope of the story, or plot. Actually it is a simple story; a man was called for duty. He ventilates his disbelief this all happens to him througout the song (3 times). They (his leader/government) promised him his duty will be safe and he is coming home in 'a while'. That didn't happen the way they told him. His disbelief of their promise got the upperhand and he ends up in big trouble. That is the whole story.

But I agree with you that you can fantasize over a lot of things what happend, like what conflict, in what country, what was going on, etcetera. When I wrote the song I had Irak or Afghanistan on my mind. Not WWII or Vietnam, but it doesn't matter where it was for this song. It was about getting into big trouble and the broken promises.

But thank you all for bringing these remarks to my attention, because it showed how you were thinking about the song and the story. And that's what matters!
Hans