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Deej,
Really good song, nothing's missing as far as we're concerned.
Cool vocals too!
And good lyrics.
Don't change anything.
Rob and Anne-Marie
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Mario, Floyd, Alexander, Stefan, Cap’n, firesong, Guitarhacker, Nigel, rayc, Andi, Mike, Scott, James, and Rob and Anne-Marie;
Oh boy, what great feedback from you all—thank you so much. I felt a little bit lost on this one—hence my reticence in posting—and there’s a lot of suggestions and diverse thoughts here. I appreciate those of you who said not to change a thing—and I’m not going to change too much dramatically—but I am doing a remix of the song, and hope to be able to post it within the next few days. Here are a few things I’m focusing on:
Floyd: Re the drums, I’m giving them another go to make them jump a bit more. Drums are my biggest mixing challenge—either too loud, to tinny, or too invisible. Adrift without a paddle most times.
Re harmony: I think I can get over the top of the lead vocal on some harmony. I had actually thought about doing that, but was concerned it might be too much. But I think your right, and regardless worth giving it a try to see how it sounds.
Re edge: I’m switching out one of the electrics and using your suggested technique—two tracks split wide. We’ll see if that makes a difference.
Cap’n: For me the opportunity to dial things down and give some space is in the bridge—didn’t quite nail it and not sure I can, but I’m trying to give it some breathing room there before the crescendo.
Nigel: I’m upping the volume on the drum fills—they are there, but I agree they get lost. As I said to Cap’n, to me the opportunity for that space is after the first lead guitar riff before and though the bridge. I’ll see if I can dial things down there.
rayc: I’m adding a different electric guitar for the background along the lines you suggested. I actually generally liked the tone of the lead, but am taking a bit off the edge of it in this next version.
Thanks again, one and all, for the listens and feedback. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was missing and how to enhance, and this has given me some great direction, however imperfectly I may ultimately execute on it.
Stay safe, stay well, all:
Deej
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Hi Deej ...
Listened to this a couple days ago but didn't have time to comment then.
Love that distinctive voice of yours. And the song is terrific! The backing tracks are relatively sparse but get everything done that needs to be done. Your vocal covers anything you might think is missing. It's great as is. Loved my listen.
Best to you ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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OK, here's our requested input.
We LOVE it.
We hear an outstanding use of RT's. The guitar fills are excellent.
The intro is strong.
Great lyric that keeps you engaged ... those two liners are very effective.
And perhaps trite to say but that melody sticks with you long after the listens.
Your vocals nailed it.
Nice arrangement all through and noteworthy dynamics.
Yeah, we like it!
J&B
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Hi, all:
So, I’ve updated the mix and overall am feeling a little better about the end product—at least, it’s as far as my limited skills can take it. If I could figure out how to update my original post I may have kept the link to both versions for comparative purposes, but as it stands, the link above takes you to the new version.
Following on my December 9 post, here’s what I ultimately changed:
The drums: I’ve played with them a bit more—not sure they are any better, but hopefully. I also increased the volume on the rides so a bit more pop going into the choruses.
The vocal harmonies: I’ve added a high harmony, panned left, on the choruses and the bridge crescendo.
Guitars: I ended up not adding any new or different guitars. After trying a few, it muddied things more than making the tune edgier. What I did do is give the Hardrock LA Crisp a bit ore of a prominent role, having it kick in on the second half of the intro. I then took the Rock Heavy 8ths guitar, and per Floyd’s suggestion, read two tracks panned far left and right.
Bridge: I dialed down the guitars in the bridge to give it a bit more space in that section.
All in all, pretty subtle changes from the original, but hopefully additive to both those who liked it as is, and those who were looking for a bit more (like myself).
Al-David and J&B: Thanks for the listen and the feedback. Hopefully my changes didn’t muck things up too much.
My best to all of you,
Deej
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Hi Deej!
Great arrangement and flow. Excellent write.
If you want to experiment more with the dynamics I would turn down the drums to maybe kick and hat in the verses
to allow the chorus to pop more.
Vic
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Deej,
Very strong tune! Composition, lyrics.. Vocals, A+!!! Consider me as your fan. Your tunes shine.
Since you asked for input, here is a wondering thought. While the tune is very original, I find that the bed is more or less standard of classic rock style. While I love the genre, here is couple of suggestions that you might consider if experimenting. I think drums are too straight. Maybe something more with break beat? Or even a mix of acoustic / electronic. One more. Guitar solo fits very well, but if you seek attention, I would try something complete opposite. A slow guitar... I know it sounds strange, but it could give a pause for a thought.
Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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Cool song. I love your vocals. I want to say there is a Byrds type feel to the song but it's a bit more punk than anything from that era. Good lyrics. I like the catchy chorus. Good production and mix. Good use of the band too.
I like it.
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David,
Fantastic band, song and vocal. Everything about this works. Love the mix as well.
Bob
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Deej,
This sounds really good to me! Love that cool rhythm you've got going on! And I really like the rapid-fire delivery of the vocal lines especially in the verses! It's a really catchy tune that I can't imagining anything needing to be added or taken away! Thanks, Torrey
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This has a blend of 60s and 90s. Great sound.
Well crafted lyrics. I especially like this: "She made me feel like Elvis/In a crowd of teenage screams"
Whatever tweaks you did must have fixed problems that were pointed out.
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Hi Deej.
Even though rock is not my favorite genre I like the song very much - lyrics, vocals, chord progression and almost all of the mix. Everything gels well apart from the main drum. The ambiance seems unrelated to the other instruments, suggesting (to my ears) that it was recorded in a different room. But these things are subjective and largely a matter of taste. It doesn't detract too much from the overall presentation.
Take care and have a great Christmas.
Brian
My music may not set the world on fire but if it causes a glow in just one person's heart, it has all been worthwhile 
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Deej,
Very catchy melody and good arrangement!
It's an energetic vocal.
Your character is fully demonstrated.
Great reproduction of the sound of the 1960s.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi
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