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https://soundcloud.com/user-76836945-522642460/blink?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharingBIAB ballad. Style: _ELFLUTE Guitars: 405, 543 Drums:683 Drum loop: Nashville even Strings:2058 Synth pad: 1805 Bass: 683 I am not happy with the chorus and welcome suggestions. Lyrics: I mistook your blink for a wink and ended up flat on the floor All in all that wasn’t so bad until I went back for more The look of surprise on your face was worth the price of admission That was until your grip on my throat resulted in my submission You didn’t have to grip so hard you didn’t have to grip so hard I came to with your lips on mine Artificial respiration I can resist almost anything But yielded to the temptation As I recovered my senses I pulled you close risking attack Body tense with anticipation Surprised by your kissing me back You didn’t have to kiss so hard you didn’t have to kiss so hard I saw passion burning in your eyes Drawing me closer to your flame Tasted the hunger in your mouth Eager to get on with the game We raced ahead to a safe place So anxious to become alone You threw me down and climbed on top And rode me to the danger zone You didn’t have to ride so hard You didn’t have to ride so hard
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You have a good start here. This is a very good song.
My suggestions for the chorus would be as follows:
1-replace that distorted guitar. To these old ears it just doesn't fit with the rest of the song.
2-shorten the second hard. Do not sing it into the next chord.
Note these are only my opinions and other may or may not agree. YMMV
A good start and with a little polish it will shine.
Have you ever noticed there are no lines to a bathroom at a water park?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Thank you! Enjoy the snow (I live in St. Pete, FL and it's 80!)
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Ha!  The balance on the mix feels off. Getting vocals to fit with the backing tracks can be tricky, but I think it would work with something a bit more driving, like rhythm guitar, along with a bit more power to the vocal. The energy just feels to low for this particular song. In terms of chorus, it works for me.
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You are right on point regarding low energy.
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Just to mention: "Blink by BLONG" is an awesome subject in the forum index! =8^)
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Very clever song lyrics... a good write & arrangement.
I would suggest adding a compressor/limiter to the vocal track to help keep the level more even.
Good work, keep at it...
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I really like the contrast of the laid back vocal delivery and the violence.
The distorted guitar is VERY fizzy and, if not replaced, should be heavily EQd to remove the super high freq. noise.
A good solid guitar track would work better - most "distorted" guitars in recorded rock - stuff like AC/DC for example, aren't really very distorted...their "heaviness" comes from tone and double tracking/hard panning.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hello Blong,
A very nice song, good chorus and clever lyrics!
But I think it's good to take the advises given here about the band or guitar play.
Your song could use some more expression on the instruments, as on the vocals.
It seems you hold back too much on your singing, especially at the end.
You don't have to yell or something like that, but just a bit more power to gain that expression in the song.
Still, it is a very nice song!
Hans
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Rayc and Birchwood, I am a great admirer of your work and take to heart your advice. I sincerely appreciate the feedback.
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Really cool song. Love the picture on the Soundcloud page. Reminded me of my high school band. I had a few of those wink/ blink situations. Well done
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Thank you, Scott. Yes, those wink/blink things can be exciting, or de-moralizing. I was 13 in that photo. The left-handed guitarist still plays in a band periodically. Those were fun days. We played at a party in a town 9 miles away and called that "going on tour!"
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Hello Blong
I actually like the song quite a bit
I think in a hurry you should change the drums
But basically you should also have fun with BiaB
Because that is the most important thing
many greetings
Andi ;-)
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