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I posted this song about three years ago and took it down after six reviews. I was very self-conscious of my singing back then (still am) and I just felt the need to take it down. I also didn't explain the song at the time. When I wrote it, I started by trying to imagine the deaths of Jimmy from Lou Reed's Berlin and William Lee from Naked Lunch. Then it became a vampire's realization that he is inexplicably dying. He's talking to his bride as he fades. Anyway, I'm a big fan of Halloween, way more than Christmas, so here's a Halloween song. https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14499366I wrote the song with six loops: three from BIAB, three from Big Fish. I sang. There are some proximity issues, I realize that and it's too late to fix it. Lyrics: And when the end is near All my movements cease Tell me that you still care My demise you'll ease When all the sanguine's gone From my withered veins Tell me that you'll be here Take the needed pains And don't try to follow me To the place I go I'll be among the worms Not a pretty show Just say that you love me Please say that you love me Tell me that you love me Just say it I've had a marvelous exit Time now to pay the cost You've been a boon companion No fret of loss Wish it would go much quicker I'm so averse to pain All of the reverie's left Such a filthy stain And if there's a world awaiting Some reward I don't deserve Keep a bit of love for me In good preserve Just tell me that you love me Please tell me that you love me Say that you love me Just say it
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Bob,
And don't try to follow me
To the place I go
I'll be among the worms
Not a pretty show
Nicely ghoulish lyrics-you made me feel empathy with this rather scary creature!
I found the mood and heavy guitar backing reminded me of Joy Division, so I think you followed through with the song`s intention.
The other takeaway from this for me is hearing you sing in the upper register- I like the character of your voice there.
A cool Halloween song.
Robert
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Hi Bob
cool song
The intro is really great
Very good background track
Matching vocals to the theme
Great work, Bob
Many greetings
Andi ;-)
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Clever use of dynamic contrast between the chorus and the next verse.... that's pretty cool to listen to.
I like that.
The ending is a bit too sudden for my taste, I would probably add 4 or 8 more bars of power chords followed by the words "Just say it".
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Hi Tune Monger,
Nice intro. Your voice is very pleasant. The set is well done. I appreciated.
Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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TuneMonger:
This is outstanding . . . really. Love the whole feel and sound of this. A David Bowie, 80's alt vibe. I love that lead guitar riff you have going on, and where you feature it in spots (e.g., at 1.44). Creative arrangement--like how you slow and silence the mix in all there right spots--and nice use of spoken word. Terrific write.
All my best,
Deej
And, BTW, your voice holds more than its own on this one. Nicely done!
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Bob,
Cool opening.
MAN! Those drums are KILLER!
The "tell me that you love me" vocal is appropriately creepy! It works.
The vocal works perfectly for the subject matter. It would be nice if you could rid it of the boom-i-ness.
A very cool song AND a very cool performance. (worth "fixing" that boomy thing)
"And if there's a world awaiting
Some reward I don't deserve
Keep a bit of love for me
In good preserve"
Wordsmith.
Like it.
fj
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I'm an HUGE fan of BERLIN...to me Lou peaked with that album...the metal version of it as hinted at by RnR Animal would've been a treat too.
Jimmy future...bleak & William's...bleaker still.
Your voice is near perfect for this song. I think some of the phrasing might have been slightly different had you more confidence...just a few notes held before moving on etc.
In the spoken chorus you remind me of Jimmy Nail's spoken parts in Ain't No Doubt in the very effect communication.
ACE.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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TM...very dark and interesting...I also get a Bowie vibe from your vocal which was very well done! I really like the contrast between the verses and chorus...if I would change anything it would be the line in the last verse...given the background story you provided instead of "And if there's a world awaiting Some reward I don't deserve..." I would have written: "And if there's a world awaiting And punishment I deserve..." But that's just me and my feud with vampires I guess  ...well written and performed...Dan
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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Hey Tunemonger.
I really like this!
The vocals sound a tiny bit muffled against the backing track, but I think all you need to do is increase the mid-rage and decrease the bass in the vox to make them "sharper" and stand out just a bit more in the mix.
Very good song though!!
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Hi Bob ...
Now, that's some creative writing and production! Those drums arte truly the heartbeat of the composition - excellent! Your vocal is quite good for the song. perhasps a slight more mid EQ would would really frame it in a superb light. As I said, the vocal is perfect for the song and that small EQ tweak might be worth considering.
All the backing tracks work - good choices and nicely mixed. That was a really cool-ghoul listen! A project well-done.
Alan
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Brrrrr... terribly good song  ! Really suitable for Halloween. Good band. The changes are nice. Your voice really does it here! Anne-Marie
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Wow, this is heavy stuff. Great intro creates an interesting mood and then the drums kick in with the power that surely awakens all dead ones. I really like your dark voice, well mixed too. Reminds me of Gary Numan's work. Excellent lyrics, like a story from a Wim Wenders movie, "And if there's a world awaiting/Some reward I don't deserve/Keep a bit of love for me/In good preserve". Powerful chord progression and I really love the sound of the lush band. I would have ended with a stronger held chord, cannot find anything else to fix. Your best no doubt and the best Halloween song on this forum ever (although I cannot recall another one  ). Janne
Last edited by jannesan; 10/16/22 04:33 AM.
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TuneMonger,
I think you did a super job on this! Had me thinking Bowie immediately! I like the change at 1:45, it really gives such a complementary contrast to the other sections which have such a nice melody and chord structure!
Thanks, Torrey
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Hi Bob,
Track sounds perfect, love that heavy vibe, and your vocal is absolutely perfect for this song!
Excellent song, one of your best I think. Well done!
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Man, I didn't know your range was that vast, Bob. What a clear falsetto. Your vocals are so much better in my ears. The mix is really good. There's so much entertainment within and everything compliments the whole so well. {Ok. I let the next song play and now I'm back and happily stuck in the wonderful harmonica tunes in your channel. Wait. I'll be back} A sad death or whatever a vampire does at the end. Man, you are so good with words. Excellent lyrics as always. Yes, Torrey already mentioned Bowie, and I'm with him. [Ok. That's it. I'll be listening to harmonica now.]
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Super intro Bob. I agree with Floyd. The drums really set the mood for the song. Super vocal and instrumentation. Well done...
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Hey Robert,
Thanks for quoting the lyrics, and for the singing compliment. I need all the support I can get in that area.
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Thanks for the good review, Andi!
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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> The ending is a bit too sudden for my taste, I would probably add 4 or 8 more bars of power chords followed by the words "Just say it".
Thanks, BD, I don't know what made me end the song that way, I definitely should've brought the power chords back in. Good feedback!
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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