Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
The Country That Doesn't Want You

The title for this song was inspired from a part in the novel American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins. For the "C" part of the song, I borrowed directly from "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus: the poem inscribed on the plaque on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. I know I have to work on my diction: In the chorus, "want you" comes out "wanchoo." Gesundheit!

Merry Christmas, my forum friends!

The Wrecking Crew:
RT697 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ElecRockDirty
RT4133 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ProgRockLondonSyncPower
NI Electric Mint
Various Guitar Loops
NI Prime Bass
DOD Drum Loops

Lyrics

You left your family
You left your home
Danger in the desert
Traveling all alone

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you

Poverty, brutality
Famine, and disorder
They had the same reasons
But came from a different border

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you

Give me your tired
Give me your homeless and poor
Where’s the lamp by the golden door

Looking for liberty
And a dream to come true
You want to go
To the country that doesn’t want you.

Your huddled masses
Yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse
Of your teeming shores
Words aren’t true anymore

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,862
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,862
Super groove

I found nothing wrong with your vocal

Great mix

But it isn't that the country doesn't want you. The country wants you to enter it legally.


Have you ever noticed there are no lines to a bathroom at a water park?

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,596
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,596
Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too.
My country has reneged on its Refugee Rights agreements time & again over the last decade.
We don't have a plaque proclaiming an undeniable truth whilst doing the opposite we just do the wrong thing.
Australia, like the U.S.A., appears as a beacon of promise to those fleeing poverty, war and corruption.
Pity we aren't the light on the hill any more.
Musically this is strong from the backing to the melody...love the rattly bass in the C.
Your voice is good for this though you've probably pushed to hard to sound earnest in the 1st verse.
I suspect a warmer, move understanding voice at that point would be perfect.
This is the time of year when the narratives combine well... it's unlikely that the coincidence will spark in many.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,167
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,167
Great groove, would've liked to have heard the chorus "pop" more if there were some way to do that. Good singing, I've always enjoyed your voice. Good lyrics. Happy holidaze!


Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,370
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,370
I agree with Ray:

Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too


Really well written, and I like the use of the quote from the plaque on the Statue of Liberty. Lou Reed did something similar in a song at some point if memory serves.

Really well done, Scott, great groove and vocal.

Best to you and yours for the holiday!

User Showcase
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 1,873
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 1,873
Great song with a great groove, it's different in a very positive way, I like it a lot.

Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
"wanchoo." Gesundheit!

This was a running gag when Roger Hodgson was interviewed by my local radio station:
- Hello, my name is Roger Hodgson...
- Gesundheit!


Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
Listen on Spotify
Watch on YouTube
User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 3,059
J
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
J
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 3,059
love the voc style similar to the one on your what i consider to be a fantastic uber hit song...To be with you.

merry xmas.

om


my songs....mixed for good earbuds...(fyi..my vocs on all songs..)
https://soundcloud.com/alfsongs
(90 songs created useing bb/rb.)
User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 1,406
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 1,406
Hi Scott
Cool song
Has a great background track
And the vocals work great with the sound of the song
I really like it
Thanks for sharing
Have a nice Christmas and a healthy new year too
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Originally Posted By: MarioD
Super groove

I found nothing wrong with your vocal

Great mix

But it isn't that the country doesn't want you. The country wants you to enter it legally.


Thanks, Mario!

Originally Posted By: rayc
Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too.
My country has reneged on its Refugee Rights agreements time & again over the last decade.
We don't have a plaque proclaiming an undeniable truth whilst doing the opposite we just do the wrong thing.
Australia, like the U.S.A., appears as a beacon of promise to those fleeing poverty, war and corruption.
Pity we aren't the light on the hill any more.
Musically this is strong from the backing to the melody...love the rattly bass in the C.
Your voice is good for this though you've probably pushed to hard to sound earnest in the 1st verse.
I suspect a warmer, move understanding voice at that point would be perfect.
This is the time of year when the narratives combine well... it's unlikely that the coincidence will spark in many.


Thanks so much, Ray, for the feedback. I a bit lazy and a bit impatient when recording. I do five vocal takes (unless it's unbearably bad). Then I take the least of the worst takes for each line, so for the first verse I just took the better sounding take. I might revisit the vocal when I am less lazy and more patient.

Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Great groove, would've liked to have heard the chorus "pop" more if there were some way to do that. Good singing, I've always enjoyed your voice. Good lyrics. Happy holidaze!


Thanks for the listen and the positive comments about the vocal.

User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,678
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,678
Hi Ezekiel,

Good song with catchy beat and good lyrics.

Unbelievably - I'm also currently working on a song about the Statue of Liberty.

Best Regards
& Merry Xmas
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
User Showcase
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,816
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,816
Love the feel, and that guitar you pushed to the right really supports it well. Good mix. Your diction is fine. Seems most folks I know say wanchoo. It's all about communication, and you tell this story with compassion and sing it with passion. Many words turn into platitudes that no longer have meaning, but there is truth in what you say. Happy Christmas, Scott.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 11
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,119
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,119

Scott,

This is a rockin' tune. Rockin' for sure.

Man, I think you should take this song down to a border town in Texas to a little bar with a lot of Dodge Rams and Harleys out front.

Get up on stage and start singing this as loud as you can and add:

MAGA hat wearing rednecks!
Gonna drive your truck in a big ditch
stinkin' dirty redneck hater
Stevie Ray Vaughn was sissy!


Make sure you are behind a wall of titanium chicken wire and let me know how it goes.

Don't forget to say Merry Christmas!!!

smile

User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,082
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,082
Ez,

Killer tracks! Radio Pop Punk. Excellent production/arrangement.

Excellent write. Intelligent.

Your vocal is perfect for this.

Very Well Mixed.

Top shelf.

fj

User Showcase
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219
Zeke, great song with an equally important theme. This topical subject is becoming more of a worldwide crisis with no easy answers, so it is important to keep pushing it forward so that maybe someday the humanitarians and the protectionists can compromise and find something that works for everyone. It won’t be easy. I wrote something about this from a different angle sometime ago and may revisit it. This was a great listen. Good work, Tom

User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,052
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,052
Yes it is a great arrangement and mix.

Vic

User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
I agree with Ray:

Excellent narrative,
Excellent analysis too


Really well written, and I like the use of the quote from the plaque on the Statue of Liberty. Lou Reed did something similar in a song at some point if memory serves.

Really well done, Scott, great groove and vocal.

Best to you and yours for the holiday!


Thanks, Dave. Happy Holidays to you! (Think of the closing melody line of the song when you read that.)
Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Great song with a great groove, it's different in a very positive way, I like it a lot.

Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
"wanchoo." Gesundheit!

This was a running gag when Roger Hodgson was interviewed by my local radio station:
- Hello, my name is Roger Hodgson...
- Gesundheit!


Thanks for the listen and comment, BD.

Originally Posted By: justanoldmuso
love the voc style similar to the one on your what i consider to be a fantastic uber hit song...To be with you.

merry xmas.

om

Merry Christmas, OM!

Originally Posted By: PROJECT M
Hi Scott
Cool song
Has a great background track
And the vocals work great with the sound of the song
I really like it
Thanks for sharing
Have a nice Christmas and a healthy new year too
Many greetings
Andi ;-)


Thanks, Andi. Frohe Weihnachten.

User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Originally Posted By: NigelSpiers
Hi Ezekiel,

Good song with catchy beat and good lyrics.

Unbelievably - I'm also currently working on a song about the Statue of Liberty.

Best Regards
& Merry Xmas
Nigel


Nigel, I'm looking forward to hearing your S of L song.

Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
Love the feel, and that guitar you pushed to the right really supports it well. Good mix. Your diction is fine. Seems most folks I know say wanchoo. It's all about communication, and you tell this story with compassion and sing it with passion. Many words turn into platitudes that no longer have meaning, but there is truth in what you say. Happy Christmas, Scott.


Thanks much, Marty!

User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,114
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,114
Nicely done!

As for "wanchoo", a song in this style would probably be more harmed than helped by applying "proper" diction. wink

The lyric reminds me of when the acting head of US Citizenship and Immigration Services suggested rewriting "The New Colossus". crazy


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,982
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,982
Strong message of the contradiction between liberty and reality, interesting inspiration, the backstory explains the lamp and the last line clearly.
What a sound, the drums have nice 'pop' sound and those riffing guitars work very well. The "C" parts are harder, but really cool, reminding me of 80's Brit new wave, New Model Army.
Enjoyed your vocals, fits the message and the band.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,992
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Ez,

Killer tracks! Radio Pop Punk. Excellent production/arrangement.

Excellent write. Intelligent.

Your vocal is perfect for this.

Very Well Mixed.

Top shelf.

fj


Thank you for the kind assessment, Floyd.

Originally Posted By: tommyad
Zeke, great song with an equally important theme. This topical subject is becoming more of a worldwide crisis with no easy answers, so it is important to keep pushing it forward so that maybe someday the humanitarians and the protectionists can compromise and find something that works for everyone. It won’t be easy. I wrote something about this from a different angle sometime ago and may revisit it. This was a great listen. Good work, Tom

Thanks, Tom!

Originally Posted By: vicarn
Yes it is a great arrangement and mix.

Vic


Thank for the feedback, Vic.

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Generate Lyrics for your Band-in-a-Box songs with LyricLab!

Need some lyrics to complete your Band-in-a-Box song? LyricLab is here to help!

LyricLab (by Joanne Cooper) is an AI-powered tool designed to quickly create lyrics and chords to fit your music. Just enter a rough idea of your lyrics, and let the AI bring them to life. Once you're happy with the results, simply import the LyricLab file into Band-in-a-Box® 2024 or newer. From there, you can pick your style and generate melodies to match your song’s chords!

Learn more about LyricLab here!

Watch the video.


Band-in-a-Box 2024 Italian for Mac is Here!

Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!

Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche

Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Mac is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Mac Deutsch ist verfügbar!

Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK & 7, Xtra Styles PAK 17 & 18, und mehr!

Paket | Was ist Neu

Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Mac® is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6 & 7, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 & 18, et bien plus encore!

New! XPro Styles PAK 7 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Mac!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 7 with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 50 RealTracks and RealDrums that are sure to delight!

With XPro Styles PAK 7 you can expect 25 rock & pop, 25 jazz, and 25 country styles, as well as 25 of this year's wildcard genre: Celtic!

Here's a small sampling of what XPro Styles PAK 7 has to offer: energetic rock jigs, New Orleans funk, lilting jazz waltzes, fast Celtic punk, uptempo train beats, gritty grunge, intense jazz rock, groovy EDM, soulful R&B, soft singer-songwriter pop, country blues rock, and many more!

Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 7 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Supercharge your Band-in-a-Box 2024® with XPro Styles PAK 7! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Watch the XPro Styles PAK 7 Overview & Styles Demos video.

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2024 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

New! Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Mac!

Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box version 2024 is here with 200 brand new styles to take for a spin!

Along with 50 new styles each for the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, we’ve put together a collection of styles using sounds from the SynthMaster plugin!

In this PAK you'll find: dubby reggae grooves, rootsy Americana, LA jazz pop, driving pop rock, mellow electronica, modern jazz fusion, spacey country ballads, Motown shuffles, energetic EDM, and plenty of synth heavy grooves! Xtra Style PAK 18 features these styles and many, many more!

Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 18 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Expand your Band-in-a-Box 2024® library with Xtra Styles PAK 18! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 18 here.

Watch the Xtra Styles PAK 18 Overview & Styles Demos video.

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 18 requires the 2024 UltraPAK/UltraPAK+/Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

New! Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box 2024 for Windows!

Xtra Styles PAK 18 for Band-in-a-Box version 2024 is here with 200 brand new styles to take for a spin!

Along with 50 new styles each for the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, we’ve put together a collection of styles using sounds from the SynthMaster plugin!

In this PAK you'll find: dubby reggae grooves, rootsy Americana, LA jazz pop, driving pop rock, mellow electronica, modern jazz fusion, spacey country ballads, Motown shuffles, energetic EDM, and plenty of synth heavy grooves! Xtra Style PAK 18 features these styles and many, many more!

Special Pricing! Until September 30, 2024, all the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 18 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea)! Expand your Band-in-a-Box 2024® library with Xtra Styles PAK 18! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 18 here.

Watch the Xtra Styles PAK 18 Overview & Styles Demos video.

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 18 requires the 2024 UltraPAK/UltraPAK+/Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Forum Statistics
Forums65
Topics82,873
Posts752,857
Members39,021
Most Online3,932
Nov 19th, 2024
Newest Members
Uke Berlin, Rodion Shynharov, davesbass, million, momo25
39,021 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 155
DC Ron 104
rsdean 86
dcuny 83
jpettit 68
Today's Birthdays
Fred Marzin, kindofblue, philncookie
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5