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Joined: Mar 2024
Posts: 128
Apprentice
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OP
Apprentice
Joined: Mar 2024
Posts: 128 |
Thanks to all who listened and commented on my first song. This Song began life as an up tempo Rocker but somehow morphed into a plodding Folk Ballad. How does that happen? If you feel inclined please comment good or bad. Lyrics on SC. The Potpourri................... 2537 Guitar 1828 Guitar 1827 Bass 1766 Mandolin 2975 Vocal Oohs-Aahs Mixcraft chorused acoustic guitar (bridge) Mixcraft Synth flute RealDrums PopModernGroove CBALCEL.STY , SPOPSLW.STY Tempo 85bpm.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,565
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,565 |
"This Song began life as an up tempo Rocker but somehow morphed into a plodding Folk Ballad. How does that happen?" The answer of course is BiaB. I have had my style choices changed many times because of BiaB!
Great song.
I liked your style in this one.
Super dynamics.
Great vocal, backing tracks, and mix.
Excellent intro and ending also.
Inflation is so bad that CEOs are now playing miniature golf!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,614
Expert
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Expert
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,614 |
Izzy, very ambitious arrangement that really works. Like your instrument choices and vocals a lot. The song reminds me of Cowgirl in the Sand, and early Neil Young in general, which is not a bad thing in my book. Well done!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
StudioCat DAW dual screen
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,146 |
Izzy,
Great song. Like Ron, I get a strong Neil Young vibe. Very nice. Excellent mix as well.
Bob
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,692
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,692 |
Ah, I like it when a song takes on a life of its own, and you did a great job cultivating its development, Izzy. I like the breaks --very dynamic how you bring them back. Good mix, and I like your choice of musicians. Or was that the song's choice? You and your song make a great team.
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Joined: Apr 2024
Posts: 24
Enthusiast
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Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2024
Posts: 24 |
There are a lot of changes in the progression of the song and that makes you want to hear what is next as it progresses. Others mentioned Neil Young but I think I hear a little Peter Gabriel in your vocals as well.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 708
Journeyman
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Journeyman
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 708 |
Very Neil Young song... lyrics are great, Love that little break down at around 0:045 then it gets bigger ...
Cool production, and overall song. Great listen.
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Joined: Mar 2024
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Apprentice
Joined: Mar 2024
Posts: 128 |
Sorry for the late reply as I have been away.Thank you Mario, Ron, Bob, Marty, gman97040 (sorry.don't know your name) & Elliot (whose songwriting I admire)
for taking the time to listen and your comments which I very much appreciate. (That is 100% honest)
OK Time to fess up.
You are all very astute with the Cigar going to Ron. Good catch Ron.
Here is my "Yeah I know" list..............
1. I shoulda given full disclosure in my op,........but I was curious.
2. I shouldn't take Picasso's famous quote litterally.
3. I will burn in hell (but I was already on my way)
4. Stealing makes me a far lesser songwriter ....Oy, hang on.........
I'm sure Y'all could (and will) add to this list and I will deserve all of your derision and I wiil take it on the chin, yessiree.
Finally I promise that I will never do this again....ever,....maybe....Yeah I know.
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Faintly reminiscent of Peter Gabriel in Genesis. Has some intriguing qualities that make it very interesting.
Neil Young? Probably.
Very close. Was it lifted??? I dunno. I look forward to other thoughts. I had to go back and listen to Cowgirl. It is close for sure.
The musical qualities are good enought that you don't need to flirt with copyright stuff. If the melody line is too close just change it.
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Joined: May 2023
Posts: 758
Journeyman
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Journeyman
Joined: May 2023
Posts: 758 |
I really honestly hate to say it, but if this song was released as a commercial single you'd very soon be sued for copyright infringement because the main melody (other than verse 3) is clearly the same as in Neil Young's "Cowgirl In the Sand". Even if you're playing in a different key it's the exactly same pattern and the song itself mirrors the meter of NY's.
I've been a fan of NY since the 60s and I love playing his songs myself, plus I've written my own mirror lyrics to his "Tell Me Why" - my versions is titled "That Is Why" - because I couldn't relate to his lyrics so just for personal enjoyment I wrote my own. That's totally legal, but if I was to produce a recording of it and try to sell it I'd be infringing copyright as it's not my music. Even if your song isn't for sale the very fact that you're publicly posting it and saying it's 100% yours is an infringement of copyright. You really should take this post down.
The copyright infringement here is so obvious that very sadly I've had to report it to the forum moderator.
Last edited by WaoBand; 05/03/24 05:26 AM.
Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#17: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#69: Bring consciousness to it.
#74: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#105: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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Posts: 2,393
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,393 |
Hi Izzy,
I just read what Wao wrote. That's a serious thing! But I'm not so familiair with all songs from NY.
On the other hand I was pleased with what I heard from you.
Think you had a great intro, good melody, lyrics and vocals.
That morphing thing wasn't so obvious, so can't comment on how it happened. I think the flow of the song did that.
You have a very interesting style, although, style...? I only heard 2 songs from you.
But I like it a lot. If I could wish me something: a bit more emotion in the vocals.
They feel cold.
In your 3rd song?
Hans
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Posts: 128
Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Mar 2024
Posts: 128 |
Hi Folks. I will admit that my cred sucking "compannion piece" was a little too close to the bone. (it's a long story). After it becomes an international mega hit I will text Neil and request that he donates 100% of the royalties to a charity of his choice. I hang my head in shame alongside my fellow larcenists Which segues into another can of worms. Please go to the songwriters forum.
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